i can’t stop relapsing. Hating myself on the way to pick up. Knowing I don’t want to really do it I need a sponsor that really k owe the struggle and won’t throw cliches at me. I need real talk not memorized sayings. I want to talk not listen to phrases repeated over and over.
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So, have you been to AA?
Thing with the clichés, is that, they really do work and come from people who have been where you are.
They are like self affirmation phrases we say every day to help to improve our well being.
I still today start the day with the phrase
“Today I will be sober” I’m 652 days sober.
It’s how we assimilate the concept of being sober and living a sober life into our consciousness.
Saying that though this place is a great place to just chat to guys and girls who have been through what you are going through.
So stick around.
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Then why are you doing it? What is driving you to pick up? What’s going through your head when you’re going to pickup? is it habit? Boredom? Pain? Faulty coping mechanism? It’s important to get to the real root of the problem otherwise it’s going to keep happening.
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Thank you all for taking the tome to give advice and opinions. I feel the cliche sayings is the same cop out saying “it is what it is”. I’ve been to several aa and na meetings. I find it’s mostly people bragging about what and how much they did. I really hate cliches I just want to talk to someone that I can say what’s on my mind not in a book and I don’t want the response to be one day at a time. You have to face your demons it works if you work it. The success rate of those meetings is less the. 5%. I want a app set friend that has the experience, smarts and balls to not repeat and easy answer and put me in a head lock ( virtually) and call me a weak ass bitch (sorry language) turn around or I’m going to chase you down and drag you to where ever. The readings and language of AA and NA is just to weak for me. I hope I’m not offending anyone. If it works for you I’m excited about that. It just doesn’t work for me
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Get a sponsor. It took me a long time to find one who can do what you said. Someone who I can have a real, raw, unorchestrated conversation. Had I really looked sooner I would have found one sooner.
Go to a meeting and ask someone you like to be your sponsor. Also, theres nothing wrong with complaining about AA.
For me, I had built things up in my head and I wasnt completely honest with people in the program. Once I said “F it” and removed my mask I attracted the types of people I needed.
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If you hate clichés, stop being one.
You’re not saying anything new. Your view on AA/NA is not new, and is a common cliché used by people who don’t really want to put the work in.
Sobriety is hard. That’s no cliché. Just simple truth.
How much you really want it is up to you.
Words don’t make you sober, actions do.
Go well.
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Get to another meeting I’ve had to go to several before I settled into my homegroup,yes some of the clichés are cheesy but my friend there also the truth ,sometime we don’t want to here it I get that but didn’t want to be a junkie anymore so I sat my arse in the hem rooms until then clichés became my truth.i didn’t just speak them words I felt them.alk the best keep on keeping on. Oooppppssss clichés 
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My experience with AA is totally different. I’ve found them depressing because everyone is just moaning about why they can’t drink or how they felt during the week about not drinking. I’m sorry not my thing, but as you say, if it works for people it works.
I know the benifits of meetings, a group of like minded people in the same position.
Sound to me like you need to look at yourself and why you find clichés don’t fit your mind.
As I said, stick around here, we talk, we say clichés, clichés work.
But we also talk
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I intend to stick around on this. No one will tell you the truth with out fear better then a stranger on site that is anonymous. This is the type of place I need. No soft punches. Thanks yall
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Well said AyBee.
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@anon12657779
Lol, my experience of aa is the opposite! People gushing about things when I am struggling! To be fair I have listened in on online meetings and only shared once, that share was quite emotional tho. To the op, I suggest cliches become so for a reason, many people have found truth in them. I think here people respond to ur individual situation. But sometimes a cliche fits.
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@struggler I’m not trying to be argumentative but through your very own words it sounds like you need a good therapist/counselor. ANY good friend can actually listen to you but only a counselor can and will help you get to the root of your problems. Best wishes and don’t give up.
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That’s really interesting, when I joined this community and started hearing some of the ‘cliches’ from AA, they really resonated with me. One day at a time particularly - that idea of not having to have it all worked out right away, of meeting myself where I’m at and dealing with the day that’s in front of me as best I can. Felt like a big relief.
Also everything about the serenity prayer. The hard bit is working out what we can change and what we have to accept. And no one else can tell us that. We have to be responsible for the messages we take from what we hear - and most importantly we are responsible for the choices and actions that follow. In my (limited) experience, those who are open to different ways of doing things, especially things they might initially feel resistance to, are the ones that get the most out of the recovery community.
I’ve not been to an AA meeting but there are lots of people it works for and I’ve learned a lot from them that I’ve been able to apply to my own sobriety. And of course there are lots of alternatives to AA, and a big list of them here: Resources for our recovery
Welcome to the forum, my best advice is to read lots, check in often and reach out whenever you need to 
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I think I understand where you’re coming from regarding the platitudes. I’ve really struggled with hearing them and reading them at times, as well. It’s not necessarily the sayings themselves that are an issue for me though. As others have said, these phrases are around because they’re easy to remember and they are usually based in truth. The issue for me is that when I’m on the receiving end of one of these cliches, I can interpret it as impersonal and thoughtless. Like the other person doesn’t really care about what I said and they just want to fire off a cute little chestnut to feel like they contributed. The danger in that being, that I’m then assuming their intention. They probably genuinely mean what they’re saying. Or it’s the best way they know how to communicate the idea or advice.
I get the need for more nuanced conversation and communication. I’m the same way. I could probably benefit from just embracing these simple concepts and not having to dissect everything. But I’m always up for a more “in depth” discussion, so if you ever want to message me feel free. 
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I’m one big walking cliche bc it’s one day at a time. If your not prepared to listen to everything then don’t listen to nothing at all bc what you think you want to hear is not what you need to hear.
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Well put.
I hated the clichés at first myself, like really? How the fuck is that supposed to help? Now they make perfect sense, cause I did the work, put in the time and stayed sober.
You don’t want phrases repeated over and over, stop putting yourself in the position to hear them over and over.
You are the beginning and end of your use or your sobriety, no one can do it for you, only offer support.
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I started to make real progress in AA when I stopped going to the same few meetings, and just listening. Whether it’s positive or negative, I’ve found some meetings to be a (language warning) circle jerk of the same few stories or sayings over and over.
I found a guy who seemed calm and had double digit sobriety. He and I started on a program of working the steps by studying some of the literature and I learned how he put that into action in his life.
I guess that’s what I hear you saying, that you are looking for a plan of action not a lot of hot air. The steps of AA and NA have brought relief and contented sobriety to millions, so don’t be quick to write off either program as not for you.
I could not get sober until I came down off my high horse and joined the human race. Here’s a cliché that fit for me - I had to become just another bozo on the bus.
Tough love for you - don’t be so goddamned special that you can’t get sober. You wanna be picky about how you will pursue sobriety, look at your track record. How’s it working for you so far?
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I must admit it’s only the meetings in my small local town that this happens. As @SinceIAwoke days same old same old stories. I think I’ve heard one guys live story about five times. And it always the same people. Not like there’s any newbies. I only go there because I take my brother in law. He’s not dealing with life too well, let alone not drinking and he’d rather go to the local town and not go further.
I’ve been to meetings Futher away and they tend to be better.
I
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What about a licensed therapist for drug and alchohol rehab. Outpatient or inpatient.
The outpatient treatment I attended also encouraged small group meetings.
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Falling is part of the recovery. Getting and staying up is the game plan. I wish you strength
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