Welcome Kayla! You’re in the right place. Many of us have been exactly where you are. Read around the threads here and you’ll find plenty of familiar stories & experiences.
Accountability is a big part of staying sober. I don’t think anyone here can really say they did it totally alone. Whether it’s online accountability, in person meetings (or virtual meetings), or even a sobriety podcast or books, we all search for some type of meaningful understanding, guidance, and support.
Good for you for taking that step Kayla - that’s something to feel good about.
Narcotics - pills, opiates - are a significant addiction today, more and more each year it seems. Fortunately there is a growing understanding of how people recover from narcotics - and there’s lots of insight here on Talking Sober.
Lisa, one of our lovely moderators, has been through hell and back with pills and other substances - she shares her story here:
There’s also lots of threads under the tag “opiates”:
https://talkingsober.com/tag/opiates
and “pills”:
https://talkingsober.com/tag/pills
This thread is a more general one & I find it super useful, because it has lots of podcasts, books, groups, and places for insight and support:
Welcome Kayla - it’s lovely to meet you You’re a good person and you deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self. Never forget that. Never think you don’t deserve to be alive, in all the ups and downs and mysterious, baffling beauty of life - because you do deserve it, all its richness. You deserve your life, sober, and full.