Hi Shay, good to see you and thanks for sharing. That went straight to the heart 
Those are all normal feelings in early sobriety. Many of us discovered our addiction when we were young and it was a nice diversion until it wasn’t.
That’s where you are now. The tricky thing is that you don’t know who sober you is. And it scares the hell out of you (as it does so many of us). How do you deal? What do “normal” people do to make it through a day?
What do I do with this seemingly ocean-deep well of emotion I have? Holy sh*t!!!
Start by accepting the fact that you don’t know who you are, and you won’t for a while. You need to learn to be, and you need to learn it from people who’ve walked that path before. This thread has a lot to start:
Resources for Recovery
You have a lot of good learning ahead of you. Expect to feel a bit like a child learning to walk. But always remember: life sober is always better than life drunk. (Using is never helpful.) And you are capable of this. I swear you are. If you don’t believe in yourself, just take my faith instead: you are capable of doing this.
You’re a good person who deserves a safe, sober life where she can be her full self. Take it one day at a time and you’ll get there.