Even swimsuit magazines don’t look at them and if a scene pops up in a movie on Netflix or Hulu or wherever fast forward til the scene is over.
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Wise man right here! Don’t go out into no mans land. Sure, you might survive. Or you might get shot in the head, blown up by a land mine or mortar.
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I know about danger being a vet all it takes is one shot and then it’s downhill after that and the guilt is crushing past 127 hours clean I feel good God answering my prayers head no longer clouded and picked up Skyrim again
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Nice! Wish I had time for that myself! So many things on my wish list to accomplish.
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You can do it all,I feel productive again it’s nice
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Agreed. Now it’s just spending a ton of time with the family. I’ve got 4 boys with another on the way. There’s a lot of time spent there.
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Man I struggle so much with this…once I did 1 month…can’t seem to reach that anymore…the most I do is 1 to 2 weeks… I need prayers and accountability…
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You’ve got it here. Be honest with yourself. Study your relapses and what you did wrong leading up to them. Avoid triggers like the plague. Fill your life with good things. Dont ever become complacent.
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I have haven’t finished reading the thread yet, but I thought it could be helpful to some of us
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Thank you @Victorious . We do need some serious help. I am willing to go to any lengths to stay sober
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Hey guys, I’ve been a little removed for a bit. Insert excuses here. Glad to see folks finding and supporting each other in this thread.
My wife asked me a question a couple weeks ago that’s been hanging over me, “When do you think you’ll be recovered and not need to go to meetings anymore.” I know the answer is never, but I feel like she doesn’t get it. I think she doesn’t want addiction to be a part of our life together. She would prefer we reach a point where things are “fixed” and we can get back to business as usual. I know that sticking with my program indefinitely means living a life of recovery, not addiction, but it’s hard to sell that idea to someone whose never experienced addiction.
Hope you all have a blessed day.
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That’s the reality. When I first came here and I realized people had been sober for like 10yrs+, I was like “that’s so long” and part of me was like “aren’t you healed by then?” But reality hit me that this is a freaking everyday battle, in many ways similar to us Christians who know that daily we have to die to self cuz the devil bombards us with who we were before and tries to get us to mess up. So every day we have to fight. Is your wife a Christian too Mike? Maybe if you tried sharing that analogy it might give her a glimpse, Idk. Praying for you though.
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Thanks @Victorious, yes my wife is a Christian. I will try that analogy the next time it comes up.
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Hey guys, having a rough day. Got a really bad urge a little bit ago and basically sat white knuckling at my desk for about half an hour. I know that’s not healthy, I know I should have called my sponsor, but I didn’t. I didn’t relapse, or even go take “just one look”, but I had that old familiar feeling that I wouldn’t be able to get through the day without masterbating to some porn.
Finally getting here and surrendering it. Honestly it was a notification on my phone, from someone liking a post I made back in December with 5 days of sobriety, that got my head right. Day 162 and counting, just focusing on getting to 163. Love you all.
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Hahaha! Someone had commented on a zombie thread. I didnt bother looking at the date stamp on the posts. I just figured it was new because I haven’t been on the app since yesterday. Meant to be! Someone is watching over you, Mike!
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Hey friends, I’m happy to say I’m 189 days sober today.
An interesting thing just happened though. A girl I was friends with in high school messaged me on social media last night. We went to competing schools and only saw each other at events. I had a huge crush on her back then but didn’t think she really felt the same way. Her message last night simply asked me if I thought we would still be friends if we hadn’t lost touch after high school.
I wasn’t really sure what to say. I didn’t want to presume she was implying anything romantic. I responded this morning with a note about how our paths take us to strange places and we end up where we’re meant to be.
She basically responded back minutes later saying that she had fostered feelings for me all these years and she cares about me and wonders what could have been. As we say here in Minnesota: Uffda.
I’m so so so so so glad I have a program to help me deal with this in a healthy manner. A year ago I would have manipulated the situation and probably done something terrible. I am not going to respond to her message right now. I am going to share the conversation with my wife tonight and maintain an attitude of saying nothing I wouldn’t want my wife to hear.
Needless to say, I will ultimately cut ties with her for my own sobriety and sanity. I know she is romanticising something that never was and I am merely an actor in a fantasy.
Raising a 
to another day of sobriety.
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@MikeSeekingHope I just arrived at this thread and I have to say after reading it I see some serious growth in you.
There are so many land mines for porn/sex/masturbation addicts in todays society and being aware of them and having plans to avoid them when we see them coming is vital in sobriety.
Stay aware of your successes and celebrate them each day. I remember beating myself up for every little thing but when I started congratulating myself for things I did right is when I started making progress.
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Hey-o. I’m new to the forum and I just read down through this entire thread. Now I’m here. I had posted a thread last night in “your story” but I found this one tonight and will post here mostly I think. I made it to my meeting tonight after being tempted to skip it. Heard some great shares and shared a lot myself. So glad I went! So glad this is here too. One question- how do I reply in a thread to one person in particular rather than just a regular reply?
Click the reply arrow directly under their comment, instead of the blue reply button at the bottom of the thread
Smart man, Mike! So glad I’ve never had any of those situations ever come up for me. I’m rocking 63 days here. So happy.
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