Grandpa went to an NA meeting and said he was struggling with a Viagra addiction…But nobody’s taking it harder than Grandma…
I love your jokes Dutchie! Honestly you cracked me up with the ones you told me.
brilliant! Just spat tea everywhere!!
This made me chuckle…good one
If you build a man a fire, he will be warm for a day
If you set a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life
So a company decided to set up a husband mall,
The rule was you can stop at any floor, but you can’t go back down after you pass a floor
Eligible bachelorette hops in the elevator
This is the first floor these men have jobs.
Move to the next or stop here
She moves up one
This is the 2nd floor, these men have jobs and are good looking,
Move next or stop here,
Anxiously she jumps to another floor
This is the 3rd floor, these men have good jobs, are good looking and will help with housework.
Move to the final floor or stop here.
The excitement is so great she had to know what’s next, and moves up another floor
Doors open, this is the 4th floor, you are the 976,000 visitor to this floor, there is nothing here we just wanted to prove women are never satisfied
Due to the success of the husband mall, they decided to open a wife mall across the street
1st floor - all these women like sex
2nd floor - all these women like sex and are good looking
No one knows what’s on the 3rd or 4th floors
Oh Chris has got JOKES
Read the thread I’ve littered it with tons of them
Two guys went hunting and they parted ways. One sees movement behind some bushes, aims, shoots and hits. He goes to see his game.
It’s his hunting buddy. Shocked he fishes out his mobile phone and calls emergency dispatcher.
Guy: Help me, help me! I’m hunting and I accidentally shot my friend, I think he might be dead!!
Dispatcher: Sir, try to calm down. Where is your friend hit? Are you certain his dead? Can you make sure?
The guy looks at his friend, brings up his gun, fires and reports to the phone:
Guy: I think he’s really dead now. What next, please advice!
As a woman, I almost feel like I should be a tad miffed…but it’s funny…so I laughed instead and will probably share it with SO!
Oh no!!!
I watched a documentary about sense of humour in different nations. Obviously there are great differences. That hunter joke was one of the crews test jokes and it created most reaction cross-culturally. Emphasis on reaction, any kind, not just laughs and giggles.
That is interesting, and not surprising. I have watched comedies on TV from other countries and really didnt get it. And of course humor is different between genders. I have two sons. Poop?? Hmmm…just not funny. The list is endless.
BTW. I did think your joke was funny.
Three brothers each marry a woman.
The first one married a woman from Minneapolis, and said to her:
“When I get back from work, I want the house to be clean and tidy.”
He didn’t see any changes on the first day, but on the second day the house was clean and tidy.
The second brother married a woman from Dallas, and said to her:
“When I get back from work, I want the house to be clean, the laundry done, and have food ready on the table.”
On the first day he didn’t see any changes, and not on the second day either, but on the third day it was as he had asked.
The third brother married a woman from Detroit, and said to her:
“When I get back from work, I want the house to be clean, the laundry done, and have food ready on the table.”
On the first day he didn’t see anything, and not on the second or third day either.
On the fourth day he could see a little bit with his left eye, and had just enough mobility in his right hand to make himself a sandwich.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One weighs a ton, the other is a little lighter.
You wanna hear a REALLY BAD cat joke?
Just kitten.
What did the cat say when it was confused?
I’m simply purr-plexed!
An Amish girl and her mother were visiting a mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
The girl asked, “Mother, what is this?”
The mother, never having seen an elevator, responded, “I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don’t know what it is.”
While the girl and her mother watched with amazement, an old man in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened and the man rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the girl and her mother watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until the last number was reached, and they watched some more as the numbers began to light in reverse order.
The walls opened up again and a hunky young man stepped out.
The mother, not taking her eyes off the young man, said quietly to her daughter,
“Go get your father.”