What’s the difference between a co-dependent and a toilet seat???
The toilet seat doesn’t follow you after you crap all over it.
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This made me giggle! Thanks Eric, very funny 
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Must be a Roman Catholic Church
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4 men are at a HS Reunion catching up one steps away to grab a drink and the others start bragging about how successful their sons are
Man #1 Says yeah my son is so successful he owns a luxury car dealership, and just gave his friend a Ferrari
Man #2 says oh that’s nothing, my son owns a airline business and gave his friend a private jet,
Man #3 says yeah my son owns an architectural firm and gave his friend a castle
Man #4 returns and asks what they are talking about, they said oh we are just saying about how successful their sons are,
Man #4 responded with oh well my son is a gay stripper,
The three other men said wow you must be disappointed in him.
Man #4 responded no, he’s actually quite successful, he just got a Ferrari, a private jet & a castle given to him by his 3 boyfriends
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Lol this one made me giggle, great joke Chris 
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How does a pig wash its feet? With Ham Sanatiser
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10101010
Why does a duck have feathers??? To cover its butt quake.
Legend has it that if you play a nickel back song backwards you’ll hear messages from the devil
Even worse if you play it forward you’ll hear nickelback
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Not a fan of Nickelback, huh? 
Yes, I know everything about you, where you move, what you buy, all things you say on the phone 
I was gonna tell you the one about a pizza…
But it’s WAAAAY too CHEESY!!!
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A set of jump leads walk into a bar.
The barman says ‘you can stay but don’t start anything’.
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A rope walks into a bar and sits. The bartender says… I’m sorry but we don’t serve ropes here…
The rope sighs dejectedly and leaves…
A bit later the rope walks back in and sits.
The bartender says more firmly, I SAID we DON’T serve ropes here!
He leaves again and when he gets outside he ties himself in a knot and misses up his hair hoping to fool the bartender, then goes back in and sits down at the bar.
The bartender says again, quite angrily…I SAID WE DON’T SERVE ROPES HERE! GET OUT!!!
The rope looks at him and says, but Sir, I’m not a rope.
Stunned, the bartender says…you’re not???
The rope says…Frayed knot!
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A panda walks into a bar, eats, shoots, and leaves
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The name Lance isn’t really used these days anymore, but people used to be called Lance a lot.
Before riding off to a battle, king arthur makes his wife wear an iron chastity belt and entrusts his most loyal knight edward with the key. Barely five minutes after setting off, he hears eddie screaming after him and lets him catch up… “edward, what is it?” still panting, the knight replies “you’ve given me the wrong key, my lord!”
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