I wouldn’t buy anything with Velcro.
It’s a total rip-off.
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What a beautiful way to honour your Papa G 
, by continuing the joke-telling tradition!
From what I’ve seen of your work, he would be proud. 
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Aww thanks. I was a horrible joke teller when I was younger. It’s a skill I’m working on. 
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Question: how do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?
You look for the fresh Prince
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With Wimbledon starting soon I’ve been watching old matches with Steffi Graf. I see she has a sister called Polly. I’m not lying.
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I think you are doing an great job with the joke telling – may be in the genes 
Did you hear about the kidnapping?
They woke her up.
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Just recently a man was found face down in his hot tub near me. He was dead and the tub was full of milk. Police suspect… a cereal killer. 
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That was hilarious to watch…thank you!!!
Did you hear about the woman who couldn’t stop collecting magazines?
She had issues.
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The Sean Connery joke killed me. 
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What a ass say to another ass … pfff!
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Welcome to the community- nice one
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
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Does anybody want to hear a good construction joke?
Sorry, I’m working on it. 
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Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Because it already has a million degrees.
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Tanks for the welcome ! Nice one too ! 
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A long time ago there was this captain on his boat with his crew, sailing the high seas when they spotted a pirate ship. Before the battle began, the captain shouted, “Bring me my red shirt!” It was a long fight but the captain and his men were victorious. The next day three pirate ships appeared. The captain cried, “Bring me my red shirt!” and they proceeded to defeat the three pirate ships. Later on, as the crew was resting and tending to their wounds, an ensign asked the captain why he always wore that red shirt. The captain replied “I wear the red shirt so that if I’m wounded, no one will see the blood. That way everyone will continue to fight on unafraid.” The crew was moved by this great display of courage.
The next day, ten pirate ships were spotted. The men looked to their captain, waiting for his command. Calm as ever, the captain cried out, “Bring me my brown pants.”
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Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands
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A drunk is sitting in a bar nursing his second drink and just glancing around. Next to him is an old drunk, the bartender is polishing glasses behind the bar and behind the bartender is a sign that says “3 day river cruise $50”.
The drunk beckons the bartender over and asks about it and is assured that the 3 day $50 cruise is legitimate. The drunk keeps nursing his drink and thinking on this until finally he says “okay I’m in”. He pays the bartender 50 bucks. The bartender puts a life jacket on him, turns him around on his stool and thumps him over the head with a big stick.
The drunk comes to bobbing in a river with his life jacket on. As he’s trying to get his bearings he sees the old drunk a ways off in his own life jacket so he decides to swim over. As the drunk gets close he yells to the old drunk “DO YOU THINK THEY SERVE FOOD ON THIS CRUISE?” And the old drunk yells back, “They didn’t last year”.
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A dung beetle walks up to a bartender and asks “is this stool taken”?
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