Priceless! 
1 Like
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many Cheetahs around.
8 Likes
2 Likes
“Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?" “Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.”
12 Likes
what do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A Stick!
8 Likes
What did the nut say when he was chasing the other nut?
I’m a cashew!
Nighty night punsters.
5 Likes
This reminds me how karma works. 
1 Like
10 likes . Funniest ever!
3 Likes
ROFLMFAO 
1 Like
That was funnnnny.
1 Like
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
The interrupting cow.
The interrupting cow w…
MOOOOOOOO!!!
5 Likes
A proctologist tries to pay for his groceries by check. When he goes to sign his name, he pulls out a rectal thermometer and says “Damnit!”
The cashier asks him what’s wrong.
He says, “oh nothing, it’s just that some asshole has my pen.”
7 Likes
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
5 Likes
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Atch
Atch who?
Bless you
7 Likes
A man spent all his life alone, finding no love. At age 96, he dies and goes to heaven.
At the same time, a woman spent all her life alone, finding no love. At age 102, she dies and goes to heaven.
As chance has it, they both meet at the heavenly library, discovering they both have a deep love for books, they start talking and amazingly enough, after a lifetime of unhappiness, fall in love.
They walk up to God and ask to be married.
“Give me some time,” Says God, “and I’ll get back to you. This is quite extraordinary.”
Four years pass, and after the couple waited patiently, God finally tells the man and woman that he can have them married.
A few centuries pass and the man and woman fall out of love. They approach God once more and this time they ask, sadly, for a divorce.
God responds: “It took me four years to find a priest in this place. How long do you think it’ll take me to find a lawyer?!”
10 Likes
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Spell
Spell Who?
W
H
O
9 Likes
Why is your poo tappered on the end?
So your butthole doesn’t slam shut! 
4 Likes