Two little boys were at sitting together in a church during a wedding ceremony.
As the couple said “I do”, one of the little boys leaned over to the other and asked, “I wonder how many wives can a man have?”
The second little boy looked at his friend like he was an idiot and said, “He can have 16 wives.”
“How do you know that?” The first little boy asked.
“Weren’t you listening? The priest just said it. Four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer.”
Not a joke, but from a Tik Tok video. It’s just so crazy and random I thought it was funny.
he had the moves… 
A couple were going out for a rare night on the town. They put on their best clothes, called a cab, and put the cat out. The taxi arrived but as the couple walked out of the front door, the cat shot between their legs, back into the house and up the stairs. Knowing that the cat would wreck the house while they were gone, the husband ran upstairs to chase the cat out again while the wife waited in the taxi.
Since she didn’t want the cab driver to know that the house would be left unoccupied, the woman explained to him: “My husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.”
A few minutes later, the husband reappeared and climbed into the taxi.
“Sorry I took so long,” he said. “Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed, and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!”
Salad Dressing Joke “You name it, we’ll make it!” Was the big sign outside the new restaurant on 13th Avenue. “There is no food we can’t make for you!” “Excuse me sir”, said a man with a heavy Russian accent to the waiter, “I vould like please, A Garden Salad vith Russian dressing.” “RUSSIAN DRESSING?! Screamed the head cook, “I’VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF RUSSIAN DRESSING! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO GIVE THIS GUY? “Don’t worry,” said the owner to the cook, “I’ll take care of everything, you just make the salad.” And that’s how it happened that two minutes later the waiter walked out with a big Garden Salad and a picture of a Russian man putting on his pants.
Hmm. Try that one again. Maybe I’ll get it. I don’t have a calculator
69x222x8 upside down then tried 122544 upside down but didn’t get it …sorry… dang i wish i had a calculator
i had to google it and still sucked at seeing this…
it is meant to spell boobless which does make the joke !!! - i think i had more fun trying to figure this out and looked like a fool to my brother trying to turn my head upside down rather than the damn phone 
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful John’s roommate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom’s thoughts, John volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates.”
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”
John said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure.”
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I’m not saying you ‘did’ take a gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you ‘did not’ take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner…love, John
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:
Dear Son,
I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Julie, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now…
Love,
Mom
I was scrounging through the house trying to find a calculator, too!
TW – about drinking
A married man, Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after a night out drinking with the boys. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.
Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian” He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him.
His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son… what happened last night?”
“Well, you came home after three in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you threw-up in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”
Confused, he asked his son, " So, why is your mother in such a good mood, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, “Oh THAT! Well, when Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and tried to take your pants off, you screamed, ‘Leave me alone, I’m married! I’m married!’”
(ran outta hearts)
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics!
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
“But officer.” the man began, “I can explain,”.
“Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back…”
“But officer, I just wanted to say…” “And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!”
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”
“Don’t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell. “I’m the groom.”
Yesterday I attended my first Autopsy Club meeting
It was open Mike night.
oh you went there …
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
One time this lady asked me: “Are you aware that you’re wearing two different colors of socks?”
I told her that to me they were exactly the same, because I go by THICKNESS.
What do you call a couple of chimpanzees sharing an Amazon account?
PRIME-mates.
I would love to visit Holland someday.
Wooden shoe?
Have you ever tried archery blindfolded?
You dont know what you are missing
