What does Sparticus think when a lion ate his wife.
He was Gladiator
3 Likes
More clever wordplay! I love it! 
1 Like
another play on words…
I asked the IT guy, How do you make a Motherboard?
He said, I tell her about my job.
2 Likes
2 Likes
Ta dum tsss
1 Like
cant help it
Why is it bad to iron a four leaf clover?
Because you should never press your luck.
4 Likes
What’s the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
A literalist takes things literally.
A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
6 Likes
What do you call a deaf gorilla with a gun?
Anything you like.
2 Likes
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are about a buck fifty, and deer nuts are just under a buck.
3 Likes
On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.
The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.
As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
“What are those?, asks the attendant.
“They’re called tees” replies Tiger.
“Well, what on the god’s earth are they for?” inquires the Irishman.
“They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving”, says Tiger.
“Fookin Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “BMW thinks of everything!”
6 Likes
The other day my doctor prescribed me a cream for my skin rash. He said I was a sight for psoriasis.
5 Likes
You should never challenge Death to a pillow fight…unless you want to deal with the reaper cusions.
6 Likes
I just got my doctor’s test results back. Turns out, I’m not a doctor.
4 Likes
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
1 Like
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
2 Likes
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.
3 Likes
I visited a friend’s apartment and he told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out.
I hate having visitors.
3 Likes