What did one saggy boob say to the other?
IF WE DON’T GET SOME SUPPORT HERE, PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK WE’RE NUTS!
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Stealing this one lol
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all yours love!
i wish i could have posted the video with joke - it was a young boy saying the joke to his dad - super hilarious facial expressions on both.
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Oh, no you didn’t!! 
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Had to kick off Saturday with a bang! Hope it cracked ya up 
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I’ve deleted all the German names from my cell phone - it’s now hans free.
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Can February March?
No, but April May!
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I was walking past a farm, and a sign read: “Duck, eggs!”
I thought, “That’s an unnecessary comma.” Then it hit me.
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I’m going to stand outside.
So if anyone asks, I’m outstanding.
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
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Love it - thanks for the added pic
I was helping my son with his homework and he asked me what Armageddon was. He got upset when I told him I didn’t know.
I thought to myself, “Come on, it’s not the end of the world, is it?”
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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
“Oh, sheeeeet!” 
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Nicely done —
I was helping my son with his homework and he asked me what Armageddon was. He got upset when I told him I didn’t know.
I thought to myself, “Come on, it’s not the end of the world, is it?”
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Why did that take me a second read to understand 
I call toilets “the Jim” instead of “the John.”
So I can tell people, “I visit the Jim several times a day!”
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What does Elvis wear on his feet when he can’t find his Blue Suede Shoes?
His Jailhouse Crocs.
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Have you heard the rumor about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.
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The movie or the biblical event? 
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