I’ve deleted all the German names from my cell phone. It’s now hans free.
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Hahahaha:rofl:
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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison?
A: A small medium at large.
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What do you call a dog that does magic?
A Labracadabrador.
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I was in a restaurant once and the waitress brought me my salad. To my horror, it appeared to be half-eaten. I complained about it, but the waitress responded:
“Well sure its half-eaten! You asked for the CHEF’S SALAD!”
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How many alcoholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one - the alcoholic holds onto the lightbulb, and the world revolves around them!
How many codependents does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one… he/she keeps flipping the light switch repeating “this time it will come back on!”
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I swallowed a dictionary
and now i have
thesaurus throat ive ever had.
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A. – “Knock, knock.”
B. – “Who’s there?”
A. – “KGB.”
B. – “KGB, who?”
A. SLAPS B. in the face
A. – “Ve vill ask ze qvestions!”
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I came across a book that was all about oils and lubricants.
It was in the Non-Friction section.
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A cat goes up to the bar and orders a drink.
The bartender pours some milk into a shot glass and slides it down to him.
The cat takes his paw and, WHAP! He knocks it over the edge and it falls to the floor and breaks.
Then the cat says: “Bartender…another! Make it a DOUBLE!”
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What’s the odd one out …… a tv ,a washing machine or a woman ……a tv it’s the only one that doesn’t leak when it’s fucked😉
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Q: How do you hide money from a hippy?
A: Put it under the soap.
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Like that one 
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When your worried about your jokes and your meme gets flagged 
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Oh shit… That made me laugh harder than it should have… So true tho
1 Like