Make Me Laugh. Tell me a joke

Somebody broke into my car and left two Corey Feldman concert tickets.

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I actually came up with this one today, when my wife and I were having lunch at a Kosher deli here in town…

She asked me: “How’s your bagel :bagel: ?”
I told her that I was at a LOX for words.

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:rofl::rofl::rofl:. Love it!

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Did you hear about the stolen dog collar?

Police are looking for leads.

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Knock knock?
Who’ there?
Brittney Spears.
Brittney Spears who?
Knock knock?
Who’s there???
Ooops I did it again. :thinking::shushing_face::face_with_peeking_eye:

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Why was Cinderella so
bad at soccer? She kept running away
from the ball!

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Why did 6,372,384 sperm cross the road?

I put on the wrong pair of socks

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Where does virgin wool come from?

Ugly sheep.

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image

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IMG_1783

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What’s the difference between God and Bono?
God doesn’t walk all over Dublin pretending he’s Bono.

Bono_U2_360_Tour_2011

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IMG_1939

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A panda walks into a bar, eats, shoots, and leaves.

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Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?

Incase there’s a salad dressing.

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