Here’s one.
How many Alanons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None.
they’ll just leave it alone and let it screw itself.
6 Likes
Good one 
for sure
I will be sharing that at my next meeting.
A little old lady gets pulled over for speeding…
The officer walks up to the car and after a quick greeting takes the documentation she has ready for him. He notices a license to conceal carry a pistol and he asks, “Ma’am do you have a firearm in the vehicle?” She replies, “Well yes sir, I do.” The officer smiles a little as this lady was no more than 5’ tall and 90 lbs. and had to be 90 years old. “Ma’am, may I ask what type of firearm you have?” “Well yes sir,” she replies, “I’ve got a 9mm in my purse, and I keep a .45 in the center console here, and I’ve also got a magnum in the glove compartment.” The officer is taken back a little, “Is that it?” He asks half kidding. “Well no, I do have a pistol grip shot gun in the trunk as well.” The officer is really raising his eye brows at this point, and he asks, “Ma’am, what are you afraid of?” The little old lady replies, “Not a fucking thing.”
7 Likes
What so you call a Witch on the Beach?
A Sandwitch…
(I’ll show myself out 
)
8 Likes
He must have been half cut 
or a bitch? 
2 Likes
How do the miners clean their clothes?
If someone throws parsley on you paycheck are they garnishing your wages?
If someone throws parsley on you paycheck are they garnishing your wages?Only if you get overthyme?
8 Likes
I spilt my scrabble letters in my bed. I had a night on the tiles.
2 Likes
Love it, old ones are the best 
1 Like
Now this is funny. You did good👍
1 Like
well? Tell me.
You remembered. Awe. ThanknYou
1 Like
I didn’t even think of that.
I can share this with the kids…
1 Like
Having a bad day.
Went to put on my shirt, button fell off,
Walk out the door and the handle fell off
Now I’m afraid to pee
9 Likes
You just made me snort…
3 Likes
Your welcome
I told that at work one morning, and it neatly killed my supervisor she laughed so hard I thought she was gonna die
3 Likes