This killed me 
Gonna use this one! Love it. To all my introverts… Me, being not one AT ALL.
I tried to be quiet once… it didn’t work.
Lol
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I did have a day like that minus the pee issue a few years ago. We where going to our usual vacation resort with a caravan. It’s like a 4 hour ride from our house, when we stopped more than halfway to eat we realized we forgot to pack the all pillows and blankets and all bedding. No big deal we just bought some new ones. Arrived at the resort just to realize that we’ve got the wrong contact so we can’t plug in the Caravan to get electricity. No big deal, we bought a new one. Got an assigned spot, and unfortunately parked the caravan wrong, had to adjust that. And finally we where all set up. Or we thought we was, caravan parked right electricity on. We go inside to make the bedding and saw that the roof had come off at a few spots. No problem, duct tape can fix it temporarily. Time to go swim in the ocean, beach closed because of a jellyfish invasion. So we heads to the pool, pool closed for cleaning because someone pooped in it. But nothing is better than a pizza with an ocean view. Heading to the local pizza place, but it’s also closed. So we decided to buy frozen pizza and heat up in the condo my parents are renting at the resort. My Ma is convinced that the oven is big enough to handle at pizza. And because were like 8 ppl it’ll be more than one pizza heated. Said and done, we buy some frozen pizza and gathers at the condo. We do get a surprise because there’s only a tiny oven so me and Ma have to cut every pizza in four pieces to have a chance heating it up. First pieces somehow slipped off the oven pan so we have to clean the oven. The second pieces gets badly burned so we have to clean the oven again. But eventually the pizza gets done and kids fed. After that we’re all going to sit down an relax Pa is already sitting down. I’m about to sit next to him and in the moment I’m sitting down the button on my favorite shorts comes off and hits Pa right in the eye. So he needs to go to the resort nurse so we’ll get that checked. Eventually the day is over, everyone feels okey and me and my husband is going to sleep in the caravan. On my way to my bed the back pocket on my shorts gets stuck in a locker rips up a big hole and the door comes off. However after that day it did end up being a great vacation. And I got a funny story to tell.
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I was just commenting on the notice saying they couldn’t wash their clothes there. But punchlines are welcome… 
Keep in mind, I am blond. And I experience lots of blond moments… I laugh outlook at myself at least once a day.
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I was expecting you to say Charlie Chaplin then appeared with a ladder
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That could’ve happened,and it wouldn’t have surprised me.
Things like that happens to me to. Items break even if I just touch them, items are falling even if I’m not close just in the same room. And I walk into people pretty often. I know the feeling,sometimes I think I’m a character in a Tom & Jerry episode.
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As it’s your birthday @proofoflife here’s a birthday joke:
It was Jonnie’s birthday, so his wife said. " Don’t eat anything on the way home because I’ve cooked a special treat for you.". So Jonnie starved himself all day but as he walked past the Indian restaurant on the way home he could not help himself. He had a sneaky lentil curry.
When he got home his wife blindfolded him led him into the room and said “sit down on the chair here, wait a minute, I’ve got a surprise for you”. As she was gone Jonnie sat expectantly on the chair with his blindfold on. The lentil curry was starting to have an effect but he thought as she wasn’t in the room he could let a little one out and she would be none the wiser. So he shifted in his chair and let some gas out.
But it kept coming. He was trying to keep it quiet but it was getting louder and louder and he was waving his hands frantically in the air, wafting it away. After a while his wife came back and whipped his blindfold off.
And all his friends and relatives sang “Happy Birthday”. 
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Oh hell no, dont dare help me pew
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Thats halarious
ha ha ha…ha
Very informative, isn’t it??
Well in my hey day I had guts and balls, but neither resulted in death, just 18 years of support payments
The pregnancy one is fact
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