My neighbor was pounding on my door at 3AM. The nerve of the guy. Lucky for him I was still up playing my drum set.
I recently picked up a musical instrument hobby, I must be doing something right I got a brick thrown through my window so they can hear it better.
The propeller on the front of a plane is just a big fan to keep the pilot cool. Once it stops you start to see them sweat.
Thank you thank you, I’m here all night
You always have good ones
I got tons of them, 
I said Robin Williams was my spirit animal
There was a talk of chivalry in ts zoom but can’t remember who was present at the time, LOL @littlemisschatterbox @milele @dalex77 @Fury
You can always respond with? Really is that all you got? I’m a bit disappointed
Is that a side effect of marriage?
I guess you just chose to ignore Irish accents huh
Apparently that’s what I been told
So a husband and wife are in bed watching the news. A Story comes on regarding an escaped convict from a local prison and ends
Minutes later, there’s a crash at the door and the convict is in their home, he begins to tie them up in their bed, and the husband notices the escapee at his wife’s ear and she whispers back to him he then heads to the bathroom to rummage around
The husband - honey I noticed the guy was kissing at your ear, whatever he wants let him have it, he hasn’t seen a woman in a long time if he wants to have sex with you just let him be strong I love you.
The Wife - no he wasn’t kissing my ear he was whispering in it, he’s gay he thinks your cute he asked where the vaseline was at, I told him in the bathroom, be strong honey I love you
That’s freaking funny your the best Fury
I just told my wife she is cracking up!
You guys are funny
I got tons of them man, I just got to adjust to avoid a flag
I’m always looking for you I repeat them to my friends and coworkers but my wife loves them too. That last one had her rolling!
A farmer comes out to see all his cows on their backs rolling around but all the bulls standing?so he asks one of the bulls why are the cows on the floor and the bulls still standing?the bull reply s because we bulls wobble but we don’t fall down ahaha…get it??..weeble?(toy) wobble wobble.ahahaha:rofl:…
well I thought it was funny!!!
A farmer comes to the realization that his stud rooster is nearing the end of his life, realizing he needs a good stud rooster to keep his hens producing he decides to get to the market for a young one
Gets his new stud and drops him off in the henhouse, the old rooster comes up to the young stud and says, look you are the man now I’m near the end just let me have a few hens and I’ll go to the corner and live out my days.
Young stud says no way old man, it’s my henhouse now.
Old Rooster says ok have a little competition a race around the hen house if I win you let me do as I wish, if you win I’ll head out and die somewhere.
Young rooster quickly agrees knowing he’s gonna smoke the old man, they line up old rooster asks for a head start, sure he says take all the extra you need, just tell me when, old man gets up around the corner, yells go, as they are running the young stud is easily catching up on the old man.
They round the last corner and the young stud is on the old roosters tail, suddenly a bang rings out, young stud drops dead.
Farmer says damn it. That’s the 3rd gay rooster I bought this week.
Moral of the story, respect your elders
My jokes are so dark, there’s no way to adjust them to be appropriate enough lol
Yeah I keep the really rated x ones off of here
