Thank you for creating this thread!!! I’ve read all the posts and I just really needed all of it.
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I totally do this! Just learned this in the treatment center I’m at and it really works!
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I feel pretty comfortable posting on this thread and I just wanted to let you all know where I’m at. I need to tell on myself I guess so here it goes.
The more that I’ve been working through the things in my childhood the more I’ve been feeling everything so much more but not the good things. Seems like it’s making my current struggles of getting over my ex so much harder. My therapist says that trauma is cumulative and that’s why it’s so intense and painful. I can’t shake the thoughts I’m like seriously ruminating over the past and I keep having intrusive thoughts and images and even on slow days they come to me in my sleep. I went to the psychiatrist today and they’re upping my Prozac to the max of 60mg hoping to calm the obsessive thoughts down. What I want to share with you guys is that I’ve been in so much emotional and mental pain over my ex (who had serious narcissistic traits) who used to gaslight me all the time that I started to talk to my ex ex (the girl before my recent ex) trying to I guess find some kind of comfort or something like attention? I’m not sure what it is exactly but this woman was a real live narcissist who used to physically, verbally and emotionally abuse me for the 2 years we were together. I finally got away from her and here I am talking with her again. Wtf? I’m going to block her for my own safety but it’s amazing how I am so sad and lonely that I was willing to put myself in a horrific situation again. I guess I just wanted to let you all know that I’m not ok and I have been really struggling lately with my mental health but not my sobriety because I know what drinking and using will do to me. Thank you for listening you guys are awesome 
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Thank you so much for sharing your story. I had a similar experience with an ex of 5 years in terms of gaslighting, physical and emotional abuse, manipulation etc. She isolated me from all my friends and family and took advantage of me financially etc. It was awful and caused a lot of codependency issues for me. It’s amazing how someone else can take over your life, isn’t it? Leaving that relationship took 2 years but I did and it seems like it took a lot of strength to get youself out of yours. Stay strong and resist the urge to go back because of familiarity or comfortability cuz that’s a powerful pull
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It’s all a process, growing and healing; there’s no one way for each of us to do it, hun. I’m proud of all the work you’re doing, Rob. We got your back!
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Oh rockstar, I am so sorry you are struggling. I can hear your frustration and sadness in your post and I am glad you shared here. You made the right choice to delete and block the ex ex…you don’t need to step backward. I know it may feel somehow comforting, but you know you don’t want to go down that road again. Trauma bonds are so insidious…they can keep us stuck. It does so sound like you are working hard to move forward. I don’t have any advice, but I am proud of you for putting yourself out there and also recognizing the need for changes. Sending strength and gentle hugs.
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Hey thanks @anon79808082 and @Brookiemonster618 it’s crazy what we find familiar yet so dangerous. Hmm kinda like drinking and using huh? I just had a Mind-blowing epiphany with that 
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Thanks @SassyRocks, you always have amazing words. I’ve really come to be comfortable with you all and being able to let things out has helped take the scary out of things. I’m so grateful for you guys thank you!
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Exactly!!! Yes!!! That’s the scary part. That little voice in the back of our head that is dangerous, alluring, and comfortable - that wants us to stay sick. Bad voice!
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This community can be a place of great healing. I am so glad you are finding support here.
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Lol yes! Bad voice!!! Thank you Brooke!
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Look at you, lol. 
Cut yourself some slack.
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You’re awesome Donna my guardian angel 
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Yeah I love it thank you! And to think I accidentally stumbled upon it one night it’s completely God’s will 
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I love love love all of these. I needed them. Saving them. Why is it so hard to work on this part of ourselves? One moment at a time. Rainy day here. Gotta get up and get to work. Beautiful images … a nice way to start my morning. Now… for coffee. 
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Thank you for this thread. I’m really struggling lately. I’ve been feeling suicidal and honestly hopeless.
Tonight I went to my coworkers house and there was six of us, and I just felt horribly awkward and anxious. I wish I didn’t agree to go. I felt so uncomfortable and I know it showed. Blah. Now I feel like they just don’t like me or it’ll be awkward at work. Seriously I feel like such a freak, I can’t just be normal 
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Who wants to be normal??? Lol but seriously, I understand what you mean and you’re perfectly imperfect like all of us here and that’s awesome! I feel like we’re all a bunch of broken toys some of us are just broken in different places. I’m proud to be part of this group where we can support each other. I really hope you feel better soon you’re amazing just the way you are Jess! Goodnight and sweet dreams
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Haha true, maybe not completely normal 
just would like to be able to enjoy life without the anxiety or paranoia perhaps. But yes I love this group so much! Thank you for reaching out, have a good night!
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