Iāve shared this before, but the last post I made reminded me so much of BrenĆ© Brownās work around this:
I truly need to pin this up in my house. Love it!
Goodluck to everyone in their battle and journey with addition my heart goes out to everyone of you. Hope all is well and godless to you all! Have a great night
There is a mental health meme thread where people share inspiring things like this. I will add you.
Good Morning Sober Fam. How do I start this. This past couple weeks Iāve been dealing with a huge amount of Depression and Insecurities. Iāve always battled depression hence why i had to quit drinking because when i used to mix the two it turned in to Anger and Arrogance. Any way Iām at 803 days sober and Iāve done pretty good through the last couple years of this journey now these thoughts and feelings have been flooding my mind like a poison. my wife of 5 years and together 10 years has had to take the brunt of my drinking the first 8 years of our marriage. Now that i quit and am going on 2 years 2 months sober she has been able to breathe and be happy knowing that when i get off work Iām not going to disappear at a bar or somewhere else. What i am dealing with for the first time is being insecure with myself. I donāt know why. Maybe because i am getting older. I donāt know what it is but my mind has been beating itself the last 2 weeks. Maybe my guilt has piled up from previous years doing all the wrong things because now my mind is running a million miles an hour and i used to just run to Booze for this part but i am not quitting on this sobriety because Iām feeling weak minded right now. One of my biggest accomplishments was stopping alcohol and rekindling my relationships. I caused a fight this week with my wife and i have that pit in my stomach the same kind of pit that i used to give myself after i would come home with my tail between my legs because i didnāt come home the night before. I know i am not doing anything like that any more but gosh damn i can shake this feeling. Well there is my rant/venting.
I am glad you got this out. I hope even just writing it out helped a bit. Part of the gift sobriety brings is that we have an opportunity to deal with the issues we have in a productive way and not avoid them by running to the numbing. If alcohol is the problem in our face and our familyās face then we donāt have to talk about what is under the surface. It sounds like there have been things under the surface for you that you may not have had a chance to process or work through and now theyāre rearing their ugly heads. I have anxiety and depression, too, and have had to get to know these parts of me so I could work with how they present in my life. If I donāt, it becomes obvious real fast in similar ways as you describe - arguments with my partner, irritability, feeling off or not following through with things (thatās my big one). What helped me most was to do some reading about anxiety and depression and start journaling. Writing out my thoughts every day, even if itās a good day, helped me to start seeing patterns. I learned a lot about myself. I also tried antidepressants for a while but that was temporary and got me through a rough spot. Then I started seeking therapy. It took a while to find a good fit and Iām still not sure if it is right for me but Iām trying it.
My point in telling you this is that these parts of us are just that, part of us, and we need to take them head on just like we did with substance use problems. Whether or not the substance use caused the mental health stuff or that was there to begin with is kind of irrelevant at this point, but thatās my opinion. Start exploring some of your options for either doing some self help or seeking outside help and start trying some things in your daily life. Is it meditation? Is it individual counseling or relationship counseling or both? There is help for you. Iām so glad you shared and my PM is open any time if you need/want. Working on mental health and wellness is a lifelong journey and part of recovery. Hang in there and maybe just start with some breathing exercises when something comes up with you.
Also, seriously big kudos to you for your days sober. Thatās an inspiration to me at where I am, a year plus ish. And having gotten yourself to where you are in your sobriety will only help you get through this, too.
Thank you for that. I am looking in to therapy again. My problem is that when i am feeling good i donāt feel the need to keep utilizing support systems like therapy or even this app then i disappear till those demons come back. Instead i need to stick to using support even when things are going good.
Sounds like you have a plan and know what you need to do. Thatās great. Keep on it!
First off, Iām proud of you for coming here to say this. Just like addiction admitting it is the first step to healing. Secondly, make that therapy appointment. When you need it you know. Make that appointment before your depressed brain takes over and threatens the things you hold dear.
I got therapy after I slept for 5 days solid and tried to implode my life. One of my best decisions.
Lastly, 800+ days is amazing. Get your mind that tune up and keep slaying.
Iām 2 years 1 month and am feeling exactly the same way. Iām so grateful youāve written about it here as it helps a lot to read your experience and the comments. Thank you for sharing. I have no words of wisdom, just gratitude for reading your post. The only thing I know is Iām going to stay on the sober side and continue to learn how to live life on lifeās terms. Itās not easy.
perfection
I really needed to hear this message today! Feeling very out of sorts, confused, alienated, not trusting my own thoughts/feelings. My anchor is sobriety! Iām still on the right path. Thank you
know the feeling. I was reading down the feed and it got me to write what i was currently going through and not hold back this morning. Not easy Being vulnerable. Iāve realized through my 2 years of sobriety that being vulnerable is apart of the process helps you get to the core of some issues you maybe having and also helps when speaking with a significant other or family member. My hardest part is telling myself āyouāre not dumb for speaking about your feelingsā as long as itās in a positive way. and also constructive to what youāre trying to work through. I hope your days get brighter soon. Itās been a rough week over here hard to concentrate on anything.
I love that oneā¦and the colors as well!!
Hey I know a great place to do therapy. Well if you have insurance through employment it will help out on covering the costs but if you donāt itās still great price per session without insurance benefits itās 90$ a session. But itās online and like over video zoom kinda thing itās called āSONDERMINDā YOU HAVE TO CHECK IT OUT!!! Itās great Iāve been doing it for about two months now and my therapist name is Sarah Jain sheās great she does all kinds of therapy as well. Lmk if you would like to do it I can get a referral and she can actually send you a link for invite.