I read this article on this exact topic a while ago.
https://www.onecommune.com/blog/commusings-grounded-spirituality-in-an-unfair-world-julian-walker
When I hear âeverything happens for a reasonâ I always interpreted it possibly slightly differently. Or took what I needed from it maybe?
I totally agree that sometimes things are just shit. In my personal experience (and that is one with very little âbig tâ Trauma) I use it to mean that there is something we can take or learn from the shitshows that unfold. Sometimes it might take years before that emerges. Sometimes the shitshows might last years! But I guess I always took it to be more a comment on the nature of impermanence, rather than the validity or cause of the shitshow.
I donât know how applicable that would feel to someone who has gone through Traumatic experience(s). The article above definitely made me more careful about how I use the phrase.
And to be honest reminded me how important it is for us to experience honest emotional responses to difficult situations. Being numb and indifferent is not the same as behind mindful or enlightened.
It took me forever to figure this out on my own, but it was one of the most important lessons Iâve learned in my journey.
When I was a functioning alcoholic, I would get home from work to be mom long enough to make dinner. As soon as that was done, I started the drinking. I drank all weekend or was sleeping it off. If anyone got any âqualityâ time, it was for work. I was sober the longest there. Then it occurred to me, shouldnât my daughter be getting that quality time? And yet, another reason to stay sober 
Dude⌠thatâs deep. Iâm going to remember that.
I think of this when the committee in my head is banging pots and pans.
Wow! I can totally relate. My daughter would say âwhy are you always sick at home, but you feel fine when you go to work?â. I couldnât give her an honest answer. Addiction took my family away and sobriety gave them back to me.
Your daughter is so lucky to have you as her mother Lisa 
Youâre too kind! Iâll be making living amends to her the rest of my life. I wish I had started years ago when she was younger, like you did with your lil one. But canât change the past so may as well be the best sober moms we can be now.
I think thatâs a cross we all bear Lisa 
I had wished I did it sooner as well. My youngest son never got a sober mom before he grew up and moved out. I thank God he doesnât hate me and Iâm truly blessed to have an understanding son. Youâre right though, just move forward sober and be the best we can be now
And Iâm like whooooo the fuk r uuuuu chillll dudes wtfff 
