Hey all,
I wanted to facilitate a more specific space in the forums for people affected by any type of mental illnesses, neurodivergency, and any under the personality disorder umbrella to have conversations with others going through similar issues or successes with managing the symptoms, etc.
As the title suggests, family members/loved ones supporting or affected by these diagnoses with someone close are welcome as well.
This is meant to be a place of sharing experiences and a space to maybe get ideas on ways to help ourselves, build better support networks, or just discuss the very literal highs and lows of living with these disorders.
Venting is okay, would it even be a good behavioral/mental health thread without that happening at least a little?
Of course itās open to discussing issues that come with multiple diagnoses (ex: I have Bipolar 1 + ADHD) and the overlapping/exacerbating effects this can have on each other.
Iāll post a little bit about myself in just a short bit, but wanted to put this out there. Iāll at least use it for my own check-in if nothing else, but wanted to welcome others.
Sobriety with these factors is even more complicated and can have some challenges of its own & I think having somewhere here for our own more specific day-to-day experiences would be helpful
About myself: I am 33, a wife & mom of 2; and just somewhat recently (compared to how long itās been affecting my life) got diagnosed with Bipolar 1 w/mixed episodes + eating disorder NOS in March this year.
My psychiatrist also has said I have adhd, however in Alaska it has to be diagnosed by a specific specialist so Iām close to being complete with this part of my ājourneyā.
Looking back, itās easy to see the damage itās done untreated, in pretty much every aspect of my life in some way or another. Itās been aggravated my substance abuse of course. (which is par for the course in a lot of cases from what Iām learning).
Iām only just over six months in to sobriety and therapeutic treatment simultaneously. Itās been a lot to overhaul and Iām trying to take it slow and steady, which is not my strong suit normally.
Iām currently on 300mg Lamictal, 150 in the morning and 150 in the evening, which seems to have somewhat helped my torrential sleep patterns as a bonus.
I do weekly therapy sessions and monthly psychiatry visits, plus monthly nutritionist visits. Itās been a lot but itās (slowly sometimes) starting to help.
Iām learning a lot more than i have ever really about who i am and why i act the way i do. Plus being able to build resolving skills and such has been helpful.
Thanks for reading this and Iāll check in day to day, etc.
Obviously not a long bio every time lol
I like your idea Marianne. Not Bipolar myself, and only part BPD. The other part of my PD diagnosis is Avoidant PD. Then again, Iām going to start therapy for childhood trauma soon, and now the therapists are discussing do I need a new, trauma related diagnosis. Mostly insurance business actually. Many of my symptoms can be attributed to both PD and Trauma related mental health problems. Theyāre labels, theyāre not me. I know you know but still wanted to say it.
Only psychiatric medication I ever took was antidepressants, again, depression can be part of both PD and Trauma related stuff. Iāve completed a 60 session schema group therapy which certainly helped me a lot and like I said I will start Pesso therapy dealing with childhood trauma soon. Could take some years to complete.
I work as a mental health nurse working in a detox facility, also using my personal experiences with addiction. I see a huge amount of our admitted clients struggle with mental health problems. The overwhelming majority Iād say. ADHD, ADD. ASD, Biploar, PTSS, Depression, Schizophrenia just a few of the most common I see. So many folks trying to self medicate in one way or another. makes becoming and staying sober all the more complicated yes.
Great topic Marianna.
My life has definitely been affected by a loved one, my son, with a dual diagnosis of bi polar and alcoholism. Iāll check back in later.
Just wanted to say great topic. I would love to read about others experiences. And share some of mine.
I have Bipolar Depression with severe anxiety and probably ADHD as well. I take meds plus I drink not a good combination but Iām 3 days out today hopefully I can continue in this sober journey.
So my son was diagnosed with bi polar 1 and he was self medicating and drugging and smoking pot back in 2011. He was 21. He was in and out a few mental health clinics, hospitals, rehabs, sober living. Etcā¦ā¦
As his father it was the worst time of my life. That was my little boy. We had ten days of hell during his first manic episode. That will bring down on your knees to God.
It took a lot of therapy. And a psychiatrist who prescribed meds for him. And what I mentioned up above. He went off his meds twice. He was feeling good.
One time he got off his meds because his AA home group said he couldnāt be sober if he was taking those meds. well, he learn the hard way. Thatās just not true. After another manic episode and waking up in another strange hospital he finally came through and told us heās tired of waking up in strange hospitals. He will not go off his meds again. If he has an issue with his meds he talks to his psychiatrist and only then do they tweak or make changes.
After a year of sobriety he thought he could handle a drink . Guess what? He couldnāt!! He got his ass, back to his rehab for a one week refresher and he has been sober 9 years now. I call it 10 years.
Following doctors orders and staying clean and sober. And also, very importantly he makes sure he gets good nights sleep.
He was able to go back to his university and graduate. He entered graduate school and got his masters. He got his therapy license in Cali. He met a girl he was in love with. Did the Pam and Jim thing from the office. She was going out with someone else. And waited and waited and they finally got married. Moved to Texas. Is still doing therapy and he is a therapist giving therapy at his own little office they rent. I have my first granddaughter now. And he and his wife are doing great!
I am so proud of my son and happy to share his story of hope through his fathers eyes. It took a lot of work and determination on his part.
He Stayed on his meds.
He Stayed clean and sober.
He Gets good nights sleep.
We are blessed to have financial help in this matter for his success. Not everyone has this. I thank God every fucking day I have 2 recovered children.
I wish mental illness didnāt have such a stigma and that our government gave a shit. I guess they are doing the best they can. All I know is my experience. And if we didnāt have the financial help I believe we would have been fucked.
Iāve been diagnosed as bipolar for many years, had been taking medication, and drinking and smoking pot all the while. My doctors and therapists all said if i continue down this path,i could due, and i donāt want to due. Today, Iām 40 days sober, and feel better. I still have my cravings to drink or smoke pot, especially around my period, but i attend meetings and reach out to to my sober friends ive made in the rooms and virtually.
This is a wonferful topic! Thank you for making this thread
Mental health for me has been a long journey. Began at about age 15 which lead into the beginning of my drug addiction. Saw a psychiatrist at 16 who thought i was depressed. Prescribed me antidepressant after antidepressant. Yet Id max out every antidepressants he put me on. They just didnt work for me For about 12 years i struggled with my mental health. Alot of treatment centres for drug addiction would tell me that i needed to get my addictions under control before diagnosing me bcuz the drugs i were on obviously created personality changes and mood/thinking changes. The trouble with this is that my mental health played a huge role in my addictions. A very vicious cycle. I needed my mental health to be somewhat stable so that I didnt self medicate etc. My mental health played a huge role in my self harming behaviors (drugs, sex trade work, cutting at one point), my thinking, and especially in the intensity of my emotions. I would literally be crying my eyes out one second and laughing the next. Literally like a switch. After so many psychiatrists and treatment centres and crazy diff meds, at about age 28 i was finally diagnosed with BPD and PTSD. I was placed in a group DBT program which was soo wonderful and placed on proper medication. I still am on meds and they help tremendously. It does stabilize my moods alot. It also calms down my BPD thinking. I still have to challenge my thinking and inner dialog tho at times. Its just easier to do that with meds. I also have to work on emotional regulation still. Meds dont cure everything but they help. Alot of grounding, deep breathing, mindfullness, and basically changing the way i think to a more gratitude filled and positive outlook helps. My husband can definitly tell when i dont take my meds. I cant always take them if i have to stay awake overnight to watch my son. We normally have nurses that stay awake with him due to his medical condition, but if they dont show up, I have to do the overnight shift and my meds make me very groggy. So the odd time I cant take them so that I can stay awake and he can tell. I really would like a DBT refresher course tho. I think ive forgotten alot of it. But i do remember it helping. My mental health is the most stable its been in years but the more knowledge i have the better
My mom is currently struggling with her mental health. She was just diagnosed with BPD. Shes in her 60s and has struggled for YEARS with her intense emotions and thinking. She is currently waiting to start the same DBT course I took years ago. Im glad shes finally getting the help she needs. I love her and it hurts to see her hurting. She āsinksā pretty bad too when she gets depressed. The littliest thing can set her into a downward spiral and its hard to pull her out of it. I hope this whole program helps her as much as it helped me.
Wow Eric, thank you for sharing. You and your family have been thru alot. Im so proud of you and your son. Im glad hes sober and have accomplished what he has. Definitly a success story!
Thanks so much for sharing, your story was really interesting! I i think the world of PDās is a lot more broad than a lot of folks think or realize, not to use a word thatās been a bit overused lately but Iād venture to say itās somewhat of a spectrum including a lot of overlapping features between different Dxās.
Iām so glad youāve been able to get some good intensive therapies and have more plans to keep unlocking things tucked away. Itās pretty amazing how the mind and body work together to try and help āprotectā us for so long that sometimes the undoing of that takes an equal or greater number of years than the traumas themselves.
I hope youāre able to get a more clarifying Dx, totally get it with keeping the insurances happy. That group therapy sounds really beneficial, Iāve wanted to try for a while but havenāt had the referral yet. It seems pretty cathartic though from what Iāve seen in documentary/reading.
Iād also never heard of pesso therapy before and looked it up, that seems really cool and i can see the ways it could be a great avenue for the next steps in healing, etc.
I only briefly worked at a mental health facility, years ago, but Iād agree, those were the most common types weād care for; and a lot of recovery from polysubstance issues. It was my first direct exposure to that part of life and the world, and i really enjoyed and learned a lot.
Thatās such an amazing recovery story, thanks so, so much for sharing here!! Iām so glad it had such a good ending; youāre such a pillar of support for someone who seemed to just be trying to find themselves and the right way to navigate things.
Itās such a great feeling to see our loved ones going through our rise out of the ashes and grow into the person we knew was inside them, especially as our children, part of our hearts put out into the world.
What a perfect description of a manic episode, those are the real tests we as the affected put our loved ones through. Reaching accountability can be such a journey.
Iām sure heās a great therapist having had such lived experiences, and able to give real guiding advice from that.
Thanks again so much for sharing, I really appreciate it!
Itās been 2 weeks; but Iām gonna check in here bc the maniaās reached full swing today and i can barely get a full thought finished. Toxic body comparison dysmorphia and intrusive thoughts of starving to reach loss goals have entered the chat as well.
Iām managing and breathing; gonna eat dinner here in a few (I may have intrusive thoughts but Iām getting better at just letting them roll by like cars on the highway, even though itās hard as fuck).
I am gonna workout tonight to burn this chaotic energy off, then do my dbt and journal.
Iāll check in tmw
Edit to add- I donāt know if others struggle with this during these episodes but even when Iām doing my deep breathing, I find it sometimes impossible to reach that full deep breath feeling
Oh @mamador you are not alone. Ive been where you are with the mania and unable to really take a deep breath. Be patient with yourself. Sounds like youre using some good tools to stay on the sober path. Proud of you sister
I can relate strongly to the last part of your post; i just got out of that weird neutral, not fully depressed lull between episodes and i had a feeling something was coming, like the calm before the storm?
I really appreciate your sharing here honestly, itās so nice to have solidarity here during a āmomentā that lasts indefinitely.
Also feel free to post here any time, this is 100% a thread i made to be a spot to share/vent for those of us dealing with sobriety through the added complex lense of mental illness/personality disorders/neurodivergency in a more specific way.
Thank you!! I have been struggling between being happy with my decision to get sober and my anxiety/depressed state. Itās a very frustrating combination of feelings to be honest. I appreciate you inviting me to this thread. And thank you for creating a safe space to vent
I am still learning to navigate this app and do t quite understand the limited āā on posts or limited comments/repliesā¦ But itās probably because Iām new here.
I usually have a hard time opening up to new people/ groups. But everyone here has made me feel so welcome. I have to say itās not what I expected. Not that i knew what to expectā¦
Again, thank you!! You (and the others here) have made it easier to get through the moments/days.
I was diagnosed with BPD and CPTSD, many years ago. Went through many docs and a lot of medication. Would stay on track for a few weeks and then derail.
Experimented with almost every mind altering substance. Also some very exotic ones. Maybe I was was trying to find one which would make me ānormalā. Finally stuck to Alcohol (with additives) and weed. In the long term it just made things worse.
The cycle went on and on. Visit Doc, get on meds, get off meds, go out of control, return back to the docs and repeat it all over again.
Could never complete any project. Could never make any real friends. Broke all relationships with my extended family. Tried killing myself several times. Woke up in hospitals regularly.
Everything wasnāt bad though. Met a girl who I miraculously managed to connect with. Got married. Still married after 23 years, with 2 sons.
I also discovered that I had a talent for computers - probably because they are so predictable and non-judgmental. It paid our bills.
I got off weed a few months ago. Not going back.
Iāve been on and off Alcohol many times. This time, I am determined to make it work. I am on day 5. My doc says that he wants to get me off Alcohol, before dealing with all my underlying issues. He says that the real treatment will start from next month.
Thank you for the kind words & support! It really feels helpful by itself just to be seen in this regard. Iām doing better now, eating a pretty well rounded dinner helped, and being persistent w/my breathing efforts finally got me to a better point.
Iām just relieved that thereās others going through this here, itās great to have relatable solidarity to dodge those risky mania choices and be at least manageable again. I so appreciate it
So welcome! Glad to help, and yess this forum has been such a great facet of finding a nice online community. Thereās all kinds here & something for everyone really.
Iām with you on the comments limiting thing lol, my only guess is itās to block spamming maybe?
The search for āfeeling okayā can be such a journey (good & bad ofc) with the extra struggles of mood/ regulation issues etc. Iām always dueling between thinking of how i could do āwhat i wantā and who Iāve been since I quit. Itās really just day by day so far.
Keep on truckin, youāre already thinking about it and doing good things for yourself by being here so just baby step through it.
Alright thatās enough corny metaphors for one reply lol have a good night
well, he learn the hard way. Thatās just not true. After another manic episode and waking up in another strange hospital he finally came through and told us heās tired of waking up in strange hospitals. He will not go off his meds again. If he has an issue with his meds he talks to his psychiatrist and only then do they tweak or make changes.
For about 12 years i struggled with my mental health. Alot of treatment centres for drug addiction would tell me that i needed to get my addictions under control before diagnosing me bcuz the drugs i were on obviously created personality changes and mood/thinking changes. The trouble with this is that my mental health played a huge role in my addictions. A very vicious cycle. I needed my mental health to be somewhat stable so that I didnt self medicate etc. My mental health played a huge role in my self harming behaviors (drugs, sex trade work, cutting at one point), my thinking, and especially in the intensity of my emotions. I would literally be crying my eyes out one second and laughing the next. Literally like a switch. After so many psychiatrists and treatment centres and crazy diff meds, at about age 28 i was finally diagnosed with BPD and PTSD. I was placed in a group DBT program which was soo wonderful and placed on proper medication. I still am on meds and they help tremendously. It does stabilize my moods alot. It also calms down my BPD thinking. I still have to challenge my thinking and inner dialog tho at times. Its just easier to do that with meds. I also have to work on emotional regulation still. Meds dont cure everything but they help. Alot of grounding, deep breathing, mindfullness, and basically changing the way i think to a more gratitude filled and positive outlook helps. My husband can definitly tell when i dont take my meds. I cant always take them if i have to stay awake overnight to watch my son. We normally have nurses that stay awake with him due to his medical condition, but if they dont show up, I have to do the overnight shift and my meds make me very groggy. So the odd time I cant take them so that I can stay awake and he can tell. I really would like a DBT refresher course tho. I think ive forgotten alot of it. But i do remember it helping. My mental health is the most stable its been in years but the more knowledge i have the better 
have a good night
not a fan of feelings tbh.