Moments of clarity

I get caught up in the idea that my addictions only hurt me. 12 days no drugs but the drinking has got me again. I’m so tired of fighting it…I want to give up. Depressed this morning I pulled into the liquor store parking lot. Bottle of kaluah at work won’t get me drunk enough to notice and I’ll survive the day better cuz I’ll have something.
I got out of the car. Written in dust on my hood my boyfriend had wrote I love Ashley with all my heart forever.
Now maybe I don’t love me and I’m ready to die, but somebody fucking does. I got back in the car and went to work. Not today you disgusting disease. Not today.


Good job @Ash
Proud of you for thinking that way…the more you think like that the more you will love yourself for thinking like that…high 5 girl!


That is so sweet of him, I’m glad you are choosing to fight it.Its such a strong temptation and I have stared at alcohol many times and sat in front of stores thinking about buying it in my sobriety.
I am so proud of you for not letting it get you today