Today will be a big challenge for me, not using wine to calm nerves or act as a social lubricant. I have some photography hung at a bistro in my town, and today is the opening reception.
I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I guess it’s because I will be the centre of attention, bearing my heart and soul in a room mixed with strangers and friends that I will have to make small talk with.
In the past I would have had at least a glass of wine before I got there, and at least two while there. I’d be holding my security blanket tight in my hand. I know today is not the day I will slip. Some people who know I’m sober will be there, including my friend who is 10 years clean from heroin.
A girl who had a solo exhibition there a couple years ago gave me some advice. She said, “I got blasted drunk at mine.” I told her that wasn’t an option.
It’s sad to be dreading something that actually represents success. It’s also proof that even the good things we achieve are false idols, and can’t fill the holes inside us if we aren’t yet truly connected to ourselves and others.
I know it will be well-received and I will emerge proud I conquered my anxiety without my usual security blanket. But dang, I wish I could just relax.
That is so exciting! I’m finding extreme emotions are hard sober. Weather good or bad. But you can do it! You’re obviously a talented artist to even have your work displayed and i think part of that is being raw and vulnerable with your emotions. No matter how you handle it, just chalk it up to being a true artist and move on! Good luck! You’ll be great!
Congratulations! What an achievement!! You can hold your little security blanket… it’s the glass, not the booze. Put some club soda and lemon in that glass and rock this - the hard part is over, now your celebrating your success with a clear mind, dignity, and pride. Knock em dead!!
That is so exciting! This is not only a celebration of the accomplishments you’ve made but also a hurdle you will look back on for strength in future outings. Way to go!
We are there with you in spirit. All will be well. We are so proud of you. And having someone who knows you’re sober and can hold you accountable is very positive. This is gonna be the start of an exciting journey for you. Hugs.
So true about extreme emotions, whether good or bad. Intensity in any form is hard without numbing. I’ll be thinking of everyone’s encouragement. Thanks guys!
Congrats, how exciting!! It would be odd if you WEREN’T nervous, so just accept it but also feel proud and excited! And think how great you’ll feel afterwards. For me, sometimes thinking of “after” helps calm me, like picturing myself on my couch in comfy clothes with some ice crram or hot tea or whatever.
The nerves will be there but try to soak in the moment and enjoy it too.
That’s a good idea. This too shall pass, and soon I’ll be back in sweatpants. This is definitely the hardest day to not drink yet. I find myself thinking it’s a bad idea to stay sober today because one glass of wine would take the edge off. But then I remind myself I’m doing this so I can learn to live with the edge, and all the other human emotions I’d been numbing. It’s just the biggest test so far.
How awesome for you to have your work featured, congratulations! Your words helped me a lot the other night, and I hope this community can do the same for you. When you’re at the bistro, imagine us all behind you, your silent army there to support you and protect you from those mental demons! Don’t be afraid to take a step outside for a deep breath every once in a while. Take the night at your own pace; sobriety has granted you a type of control that you cannot find in a wine glass. Once you make it through, you’ll have this experience as a reminder of how you can conquer any social situation without booze, and you’ll be that much stronger next time. We’re all rooting for you!
Fantastic, Heddy!! Congratulations!! Have them make you a nice hot drink, keep that in your hands and once the event gets started you will relax. So proud of you! Youlve got this!
Way to go!!! I knew you could do it. We are so freaking proud of you right now! Btw you look gorgeous. You and the hubs are a beautiful couple. Stay inspiring us to not only stay sober but to live our dreams
Well, the visualization worked. I am back in sweatpants on the couch, gorging on leftover catering. Now all I have to do is cringe about all the stupid things I said or things I wish I had said…but at least I remember what I said!
