Hey there! A friend asked me to share a bit about my musical journey, and I thought it would be a great way to connect. When I look at my most meaningful posts, music is almost always a part of it. I’m giving it one last hurrah since I decided to get sober and start living life for the first time as an adult. Reflecting on this, I realized that my descent into addiction was mostly when I lost touch with music. That’s a lot to take in, but I’ll share a little about what music means to me and how it’s kept me alive—a few times, actually.
So, I’ll skip all the boring early stuff. Basically, I played the violin through my school years. I had a scholarship and was accepted into the Cleveland Youth Orchestra (a huge deal for me). Within a week of those amazing achievements, my doctor told me I had a few health issues that were affecting my hand and wrist joints. He basically told me to just give up. That was the beginning of the end. I had already found drinking to be a fun way to unwind occasionally. It was 2003… I dropped out of high school. All hope seemed lost. I went through a series of quitting one addiction for another, but I always had alcohol or pills until I finally stopped this last handful of years. There have been many key songs along the way that kept me from going back to cocaine or heroin. I justified everything by thinking that I wasn’t shooting dope anymore or blowing insane amounts of money on coke. It was all legal. I didn’t even smoke weed. Only my prescription from my now-incarcerated doctor and the occasional drink. I was a functional, rarely in trouble addict. It was a terrifying place to be. It’s hard to see the problem when everyone around you just becomes ignorant to it. Cue the divorce and rediscovery of my musical roots.
I’ve always found solace in loud music, and you know what? Even now, if you listen to what I’m playing, you’ll get a real sense of how I’m feeling. Music is my way of feeling, breathing, exploring, and letting go. I’m a big fan of discovering new artists before anyone else, and I love going to local shows. Writing and producing are my passions, and I used to sing, but my past really took a toll on my voice. Now, I can only scream (I’ve always had a decent growl, haha!). Once I decided to dive back into writing and pour my heart into the keys and paper, I’ve been sober for 90 percent of the last year and just celebrated another 30. Music is my rock, my only lifeline that’s never let me down.
Right now, I’m putting all my energy into rebuilding what I once had and then some. I’m an adult now, lol! I’m writing it out instead of numbing it out.
Hopefully this makes some sort of sense. Thank you @bluekoolaid_88 for the great thinking point. I told you the rabbit holes went deep lol
What a great share to learn a bit more about you. Music is such a powerful healing tool. I love that you played violin one of my favorites to listen to especially in rock music. My mom was a musician and I grew up forced to go to musicals and now I love musicals. I think I always have. Even through moms worst times of Alzheimer’s at 88 she could still play Chopin or Bach or Beethoven. The power of music can be healing. I’ve seen it happen.
Sorry to hijack your thread. I hope you can follow your sober dreams getting back into wherever music takes you. Make music your drug.
Oh and congrats on the 30 days
I’m so glad you’re back fighting the good fight.
Isn’t that amazing though! I have seen that with a woman I used to care for. Back in her day she was the teacher you wanted around here. I was much older when I took care of her, but she still taught me a new technique and we played together often.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story,
Thanks for sharing some of your story and it definitely makes a lot of sense and I can relate. I know speaking for myself that I’m only going to be productive and actually get things done when I’m sober. If I’m using and drinking Then the opiates and alcohol become number one and Little by little I sell my equipment because I’m not able to hold a job when I’m like that and even if I make money other ways it’s going to go towards drugs and alcohol.. I used to think I was more productive when I was under the influence and maybe I was very early on but somewhere along the way I crossed that line where I’m not going to get anything done while I’m drunk or high just a lot of talk.. I definitely think there is a lot I can learn from you and now I’m wondering if maybe I should try to learn some kind of new instrument like violin or maybe learn piano. I can mess around on piano or keys but I don’t know what I’m doing. That’s the cool thing about sobriety is that I have options and goals and dreams can become reality. Thanks again for sharing some of your music story.. Makes perfect sense to me
I appreciate it, truly. I always say piano is an amazing tool to nail down any other instrument. It can do anything and then some. Some of the best music comes from some dude noodling in their basement lol
Hello fellow music lover! Thank you for sharing your journey.
Growing up in the 80’s, there was never a day when my folks weren’t listening to music, and so music became chicken soup for my soul.
I got my first guitar for my 12th birthday, since then, music became how expressed myself. I was less interested in playing other people’s music and more interested in creating my own.
Later in life, I branched out and picked up the drums, started a band, played gigs, wrote about love, loss, drugs, you know, the typical rock n roll stuff. I ended up accelerating my drinking problem and had to step away from that lifestyle. I got rid of my gear, save my first guitar and my drum kit (though I lost my cymbals and hardware).
In my second life, I started writing again. I also got into recording. Since then, I’ve been writing about not only my experiences, but the experiences of those around me. My music has become a window into my life and a mirror for others.
It’s become therapy.
A few years ago, I had 3 goals with music:
Record and Release and album
Play at a music festival
Receive a check (that I can frame) from music sales
I’ve checked off the first two several times. Now just waiting for the money to roll in
So now, I just write and record as a hobby and something comes from it, great, if not, I am still fulfilled.
That’s awesome! I love that aging out of the industry isn’t really a thing anymore. I love hearing of those that rediscovered themselves in music. Thank you
It can be madness sometimes but totally worth it !! Have fun !!!
Ps: My record came at the record store and I’m going to pick it up tomorrow after work! Jagged Little pill by Alanis Morissette. I’m really excited for this one and it’ll be a great addition to my collection
I definitely get it! It’s like you sit down to work at stuff and next thing you know five hours has passed!! It almost puts you in a different dimension or something
Music is literally the soundtrack to my life. Whether I am writing, playing, or listening it all has its place. I think I may use this thread to kind of document my little musical brain.
one of my favorites to listen to especially in rock music. My mom was a musician and I grew up forced to go to musicals 
and now I love musicals. I think I always have. Even through moms worst times of Alzheimer’s at 88 she could still play Chopin or Bach or Beethoven. The power of music can be healing. I’ve seen it happen.
I haven’t stopped other than yoga and a meal lol