Spent the day looking online found 3 tomorrow, Thursday and sat. Called left msg for tomorrow’s meeting laying here trying not to lose my nerve and show up. I’ll be 2 days AF tomorrow but the thought of walking into my 1st AA meeting has me talking myself out of it. I’ve read post regarding 1st AA meetings hoping it would help. I decided to post for some encouragement. The fear of walking into a meeting saying yes I have a problem with Alcohol need help has my stomach in knots egh. As this will be my 1st time admitting to myself and out loud I have a problem with Alcohol…I can do this I hope. Haven’t decided if I’m telling my BF either. We both have issues with Alcohol. He is my drinking partner and I his… 
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Well you are admitting it here, so that’s a great start! Good of you that you are going to a meeting! If you wanna stay silence at your first meeting, that’s ok!
I told my partner about my addiction. It helped me to tell others. So they don’t offer me drinks anymore and they know (at least for a bit) were I’m going trough 
Just go to that meeting and tell us all about it tomorrow! Aa is a big help for a lot of people here! You can be one of them!
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If you’re too uncomfortable with the idea of saying anything, it’s okay not to. If someone invites you to say something, lots of people say “I’d rather listen today” for any reason at all, and no one questions it. If you are up for introducing yourself as new I do recommend it, people are really eager to help new people however they can.
As far as admitting you have a problem with alcohol, it’s an important step but the most important is that you are honest with yourself about that fact. Admitting it to others might take a bit of time to feel ready for, though some people do right away as well. It will probably still be a bit weird to do, but it is really so freeing in my experience. Not having secrets to carry and hide. Being able to talk about what’s on your mind. Having accountability. Other people being able to support you now that they’re filled in.
So don’t let that stop you. The important part is getting through the door, not saying anything out loud.
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This man has some solid advice.
Don’t have to say nothing, we get it. When I went back out I had anxiety about going back to AA. I drove up to 2 meetings, parked, watched as people went in, the guys hanging around out front greeting people as they came in, lost my nerve and drove away. Drove to the liquor store again.
I had nothing to be afraid of, except losing who I was, that comfortable chaos of being a drunk who did terrible and irrational things at times.
Sending you hope and strength, find a seat in the back and just listen.
I will add that I did find my way back into the rooms, and I have been sober since. Almost 2 years. Do what you don’t want to do to get to where you want to be.
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Ty Butts , Ifs and captAZ that’s how I feel wanting to just say f it and drink thank goodness there’s nothing here to drink. Its 12am here my thoughts are a mess but I’m getting it out there not holding in. Going to look up meditations on utube to help me sleep im so use passing out I dont know what it feels like to get normal sleep 
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Once you admit that you are powerless, it should be a big relief. It was for me, realizing that the race was over was like a sigh of relief, weight off my shoulders. Admitting defeat is tough, but once you do you then have the power to select your addiction.
First meetings are never an easy thing. Once you feel the love and support among everyone you’ll feel better, and safe. I hated meetings the first two attempts at sobriety. Now this 3rd go around, with an open mind and positive attitude, I look forward to going. You get used to the people, you cant wait to hear what certain have to say.
For me, once I realized that everyone in every room was just like me, same problems, thoughts, and behaviors, I finally fit in somewhere. I belong in those rooms. No one is better than anyone else and everyone is there to help each other. It’s a rare and pretty great thing.
“AA is the greatest group that no one wants to join.” 
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Ty Chris ,Ifs and Buts. I’m hanging in there for tomorrow praying praying that I get there walk in and sit
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Everything you’re doing is great Pinky; I’m proud of you… I sat in my car before my first and said out loud, just do it! Lol… It really is a good feeling after the first few. Nothing to be afraid of; that fear you’re feeling is normal but you’ll see it’s gonna be ok.
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i totally understand it can be nerve wracking but remember this is what the community was specifically designed for and it’s exactly how it runs — to welcome people one and all who are having trouble and need support. in a good meeting you will be welcomed and supported and nurtured!! if the group in your first meeting doesn’t resonate you have no fear! there are plenty of meetings and rooms and types of groups with different sets of people and you will find one that fits your style!! it feels amazing. i am on day 12 and i found 2 rooms i love, with loving supportive people, and one room that was kind of a dud. if that happens don’t let it turn you off from AA in general — i hope your first room is as loving and supportive as you need and deserve but if not keep searching because you will find it!! congratulations on your brave step toward improving your entire life in ways you won’t believe til you see it!!! 
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Ty Donna and Ilovemyself it’s not helping I drank at my BF parents on sat. After being Alcohol free 3 days possibly offended his mother who knows I dont remember how we even made it home . This is why I decided a should try an AA meeting rather than go it alone as I’m not doing so well trying to quit on my own. BF stops at parents tonite as he was told to stop by I feel alwful I’m sure I’ll be dislike after this crazy drunk gf I’ll be labeled.
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Stick around here and don’t beat yourself up too much. I think you’re on the way to feeling so much better hun… 
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I’m trying not too. I hate that I do this to myself over and over so sick of the feeling the regret the guilt the shame just becuz I drink and dont know when to stop. I just wanna cry right now. I so want to be done with Alcohol. I’m tired of hurting myself and others I care about.
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I agree with many others. You dont have to say anything. My first few meetings I just listened and attended the meetings. Get your foot in the door. When you are ready to openly speak, do so. This post, reaching out and expressing, is a good start. Dont beat yourself up. Get through the next 5 minutes, than do it again. Find something to keep your mind busy. Watch a movie. Be humble and kind to yourself.
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It takes a lot of courage to walk in those rooms, but it may be the best thing you can do. Remember, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, you’re a member when you say you are. Maybe try a few meetings before you share, if you get asked to share you can say I’ll pass thanks and just introduce yourself, like I’m here because I may have a problem with alcohol. Find a sponsor who works the steps, take some pamphlets, maybe stay for a cup of tea after the meeting. You’ll be ok. Listen for the similarities not the differences. Much lovez
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And keep coming back, it works when you work at it 
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I remember so vividly how scared I was to go to my first meeting. Like you, I posted here and got support and encouragement. I forced myself through those doors and cried and the women there surrounded me and hugged me and made me feel welcome. And it changed my life. You can do it, I beleive in you. Do you have a day and time picked out? Let us know how it goes. 
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I’ll just echo what everyone else has said. Going to AA was the last thing I ever wanted to do. I was scared, ashamed, angry, broken…I cried through probably my first ten meetings. Now, I look forward to myeetings like nothing else in my life. I feel at home there in a way I do not anywhere else. I’ve made dear friends there who would do anything for me. Most of all, I’m learning how to live a better, more peaceful life there.
Please let us know how it goes. Every meeting is different and has a different personality. Keep trying them out and find ones where you can exhale and feel comfortable…
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Ty everyone for the encouragement hoping this post keeps saying I have to wait 1hr to reply to post. Hoping for a call back will do the 7pm as I received and email with times but they said to call to be sure there still being held. Will go ahead and go anyway wish me luck. Would let me post last night said I had to wait 15hrs for a new user.
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One day at a time! You’re not just helping yourself but in a way helping others by choosing new positive choices like going to aa. Our spheres of influence have implications that stretch far beyond us, I’m grateful for you that you have the courage to make better choices, one day at a time, progress not perfection, ten minutes at a time if you have to. Good on you! Great having your posts on the forum!
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Let us know how it goes.
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