Hi. 1st Day here. I’ve been using this app for almost a year but never have used the community side of it. This morning I hit reset for the 13th time. My longest run was 58 days but that wasnt truly sober. It was just not black out drunk.
I am reading this Naked Mind and its helping. I am a mom to 2 little kids. I work. We have a small farm. Life is OK but I use alcohol to relax. Problem is I cant shut off after 1 or 2. Lately I’ve blacked out at night. I’m scared I will do something stupid. I vowed I will stop. I must. I hate living in this cycle. Drinking …forgetting…waking up at 3am… thinking I will stop then same thing again
SO. I am hoping talking to you all will help. Reading your stories. Knowing I am not alone. I have good support. My husband knows I want to stop and helps me, but he doesn’t understand my desire or need to drink so I figure this is the place to be for that understanding.
Hi, Kelly. Congrats on your first step.
I guess many of us started using alcohol as a way to relax… until it got out of control.
The simple truth is: life is so much more meaningful when you’re sober. You’ll have some better days and some difficult ones; some more and some less rewarding, but you’ll be HERE&NOW, firstly for yourself. And for your kids and everyone who loves you.
Hi Kelly. Welcome pal!
You story is very similar to lots of us. Me for sure.
I had that same cycle you described. Vowing that I wouldn’t drink that day. But I always ended up with a drink in my hand. It was like I was on auto pilot right to the bottle. It Was a very demoralizing place to be.
So yes, I understand. As do lots of folks here. For me, I found that I couldn’t quit on my own. I needed help. Help that only another alcoholic could offer me. I found that help at Alcoholics Anonymous.
There’s quite a few moms here too that have stories like yours. My pal @MoCatt to name one.
I commend you on your courage in posting here pal. It’s a great start. I hope you stick around
Hi Kelly and welcome!
I’ve been were you are! Definitely!
Came here because I needed a back up. I have a surportive husband too, but he’s not addicted to anything so he doesn’t understand where I’m going trough. Not by far!
I’m a mom of 3 kids by the way.
It helps me to come here every day to check in sober, there is a daily tread here were you can do so. If I need help or I want to vent I’m here too. The bottom line is: I’m here a lot
But it helps me a lot too!
Sober for 1 year now and liking my sober life.
I wish you the same
So read, talk and go for it!!
I totally can relate. That was my story. Drink, black out, wake at 3am full of shame & guilt. You don’t have to live life this way, it’s torcher. I am working the program of AA and it’s changing my life. My husband is supportive too and he’s way less stressed not having to worry about me. Try an AA meeting and talk to someone. They care! Best to you and your family.
Thank you. I have been thinking about AA. I am in a small city though and I worry about gossip. But maybe. But it is really hard. My husband will be so happy too if I can get sober.
Hi Kelly!
I think you’ll find being part of this community to be really helpful.
I come here first thing every morning and post on the Daily check in thread for accountability, and I read around the forum throughout the day for sanity, and some laughs.
It has been really helpful for me, and my last blackout was absolutely my last blackout.
We are glad you are here!
Thanks @sprinkles … yea… I cant risk another black out. Not with kids. It’s such a horrible feeling. Tonight has been hard but day by day… gotta do it.
I could have written your post seventeen months ago. I am a mom of two little boys (now ages 3 and 5). I was blacking out every night, waking up sick - and trying to parent as a hungover, empty shell of a person. Every day I would promise myself that I would not drink - and every day I did. I hated myself so much that I started thinking my husband and children would be better off without me - and to be honest I just didn’t want to live any more. The cycle had worn my down until I was physically, mentally and spiritually bankrupt.
Finally there came a night where I was ready to end it all - and something told me to wait. I didn’t even know for what - I just knew that I could not drink anymore and that I had to get help. I couldn’t quit on my own - and I didn’t have to.
The next day I had a long talk with the one sober person I knew - and he took me to my first AA meeting the next night. There I found a home - and people whose struggles and thought processes were so much like mine. They helped me learn to live without alcohol - and even moreso, have helped me look at how and why alcohol took over my life. I was also afraid of someone I knew seeing me, what people might say, etc - but I also knew that I was going to die if I didn’t get help. Now, I look forward to my meetings as the place where I find peace and a reset for dealing with the tough parts of my life.
This forum has also been a lifeline. I still read every single day. I found people here who have become family to me - and each story of a newcomer or someone who has relapsed reminds me why I cannot go back to the bottle. There were many times when a quick read here kept me from picking up a drink.
My old sponsor shared something with me early on that has been such motivation for me. “If you play your cards right, your children will never remember their Mama as a drunk.”. Today, I will do anything to stay sober. I cannot drink today - no matter what.
I am so glad you are here. You are not alone - and with help you can do this. My name is Holly, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve been sober now for 528 days after drinking for over 20 years. Please feel free to contact me via DM if I can help you in any way. Life now isn’t perfect - but it is so, so much better on this side.
Thank you so much @MoCatt Holly. It’s so true about not wanting my kids to remember their mama drunk. My oldest is 7 so he might, although honestly I hid it from them. Still. It’s also been many years for me. Last night I emailed AA. (It’s 6am now where I live) to find about a local meeting. I can not fail this time. At least now it is Day 2.
Yeay for day 2!!!
You are not alone and I’m proud that you reached out here and to AA. AA saved my life but I was terrified to walk into a meeting alone. I still get nervous after 899 days lol. But i do it because I need to stay sober.
I started my journey with a few simple things maybe they will help you too.
Yoga
Meditation
Read lots on alcoholism
This naked mind helped change my view of alcohol
Talk to my dr and got meds to help with cravings, not easy but I needed help, she was proud of me, i was too
Podcast about quiting
Played games on my phone
Keep busy
Drink lots of water
Take Multi vitamins
Take Vitamin B complex
Rest when you can, you’ll need it
Walk
Anything just dont drink. Just for today
Your doing amazing
@Zoesgram1 Thanks so much. Yes, I am really trying to find things for at night and alternative drinks. Lots of seltzer water. Reading. Taking Mag, B vits. It’s hard. I feel so antsy. Guess it’s a side effect of coming off poison.
Hi. I too am a mom & was doing the same thing as you until I quit 17 days ago. I’ve gone stretches before where I “cut back” but always ended up worse off than where I started. Then it got to the point where I’d drink to where I would black out & vow when I woke up (usually around 4am for me) that I would not do that again. I made some dangerous choices but thankfully I quit before anyone got hurt. I’m on chapter 2 of this Naked Mind & realizing that I’ve probably been an alcoholic a lot longer than I realized. Anyway… Glad you chose to introduce yourself! The next week will most likely be rough. If you haven’t looked up PAWS yet, Google it and expect to experience some of those symptoms. We’re here for you!
Yeah… Just going to be in the present and focus on getting through the day. Tonight is gonna be tough, gotta find a subsitute.
