My dear Diary

I have decided to create a diary which I will be able to sum up my addiction recovery days. So I will update as soon as My day is completed. I hope this will give me the power to hang on daily.

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Great idea. I do the same. I know theres several “personal” threads on here. @anon37742172 and @Englishd both have their own that focuses on their lives and sobriety. Mine is:

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@DungeonMaster Yes, I follow yours. How is your sobreity? Is there something changing positive in your life?

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@anon37742172 Well, I will be following yours too. I hope this will create the difference I want.

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The day one is completed without porn. I had some heavy cravings to view it but overcome them. I was out of the town to get some stuff done And now back to town. A dull day, nothing else for now.

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I relapsed at 02.00 pm yesterday. But started over taking a shower. Now completed the day one and 4.41 hours.

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That’s it, bro! You need to erase the guilt. Yes you messed up, but you’re not a bad person. You’re a good person with a problem. If you relapse, pick yourself up and fight against it. Next time you grab your phone to look at porn, instead of clicking on the browser, click on the sober time app. On your computer? Always have the sober time web page open. Use us as a lifeline!

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Thanks for the support @DungeonMaster

Yes, it was desperate but I have thought that I had no time left for complaining, I have to take the baby steps and do whatever I can. Whatever may come, I will defeat it. I am not conditioning myself on my addiction, I just want to improve myself throughout these days. I think it is not just about being away of porn as you know. By kicking this mess out of my life, I have the void to fill with new things. I am starting reading my books again, playing my new instrument and preparing for my English exam etc. No way to Filthy past!

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Completed the day two. Nothing new has happened. Still maintaining a dull life. But I am trying to invest time in myself in comparison to past plans. Tiredness is my problem, always yawning but I hope it will get better and I will write something amazing on here

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The day three and 35 minutes. Feeling so overwhelmed, experiencing so strong cravings. Decided to visit one of my friends and now on my way to there. Pray for me my dear friends.

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Focus your mind on what’s important. Sobriety will make you feel so much better! You’ve got this!

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This is actually what I depend on. I remember my worst times whenever I feel that strong urge to relapse. And also feel your support behind me. I believe that I will gather strength day by day. Everything is up to me…:blush:

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Have completed the day four. I want to be sure that this will go further but actually I am in a tight situation. My brain started to react the things that are non-sexual and this feels me that I have a high energy. The brain in shock. I was having stomache yesterday, and now having a painful headache. My all veins in my head to be easily seen from outside. I hope this is a indicator of my recovery. No excuses! I will keep fighting.

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Just relapsed. Starting over.

Honesty is the first step, bro. You’ve got that one down. That that as a victory that the addiction isn’t isolating you anymore. Even if you just relapsed, I can tell that you’re slowly breaking free. There is a ray of light.

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@DungeonMaster yes, I am starting to break free. I will try to make it further than 4. This is what I am aiming at. Thank you for the support Bro.

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Not going anywhere. You got this!

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Everything is about to go down. But I am standing up again. Will keep trying to get out of the devils…

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I don’t know how many days I am off this app but I had some radical changings in my life again. I hope with this way I am gonna be able to feel much more confident about myself.

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After a long time, like a year, I’m back to my diary too. This time, I believe in myself about overcoming pornograpy. I am all ready for the urges that I can experience. I am not only defying pornographic images or like that. I am sexually in control even in public. I will not have a look on the stuff which will actually have effects on my brain. Fortunately, I know how the addiction works anymore. No wasting time, not taking a look on filthy things, no imagining over explicit thing and more. I want to be purified from head to foot. Want to regain my mental and spiritual clarity and also my physical aliveness. Started off.

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