Hello @Jana1988 yeah, to some extent it can be helpful, and when you look back you wanna see the milestones you got and the hardships you had been through. That is the way it feels proud when you get over those hurdles that stop you from overcoming the addicted mind. I’ll be glad to see yours and follow. Good luck)
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Great amount of time spent on pornography again and it surprises me when I reinstall this app and see the counter.
Well, I am back and I do not know for what reason. It may be that I felt the deep solitude again and wanted to see some people that sharing some in common with me. Through past a few months I have not been success against my wild and strong porn addiction. Sometimes I think to myself whether I am exaggerating this or not, but the results have always been disappointing.
The Addicted mind when feels anxious, under stress, and through some bitterness, it will give up on striving to overcome those times instead of finding some ways to deal with it. I wonder on what level I am addicted and if there is any possibility to push back those urges invading my mind inevitably.
Anyway, A huge hello to you all. I hope you are all doing well. I will be glad if I have my former friends and maybe some new ones back to here to get supported
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Welcome back.
Trying to stay clean is hard enough with support.
Together we can do this.
Glad your here.
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Thank you. Yes this was probably what I was concerned about. I was back with no hope but people here are really supportive and I am gonna stay strong
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Starting over, I have reset my counter and I am gonna devote myself to this process. My first goal is to reach 10 days off porn which I haven been succesful at for more than a year. The policy is simple, Stay away from porn and no matter what urges are coming, never forget that porn won’t cure you, it will just numb you…
Well, it is night. I have been telling myself the lie that nights are stronger than me when my urges come and invite me to a booze. But no, I am stronger than the night and I am gonna show you that. See you in the morning with a stronger me…
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Speaking for myself, it’s like there are two of me, having dual personalities.
For the most part, I’m in clarity. I desire sobriety and the gifts that come along with it.
But other times, I don’t care. “F” it! I just want to get my fix. I’m having a moment of unclarity. And those are the times I get myself in trouble. I wish I could have just made that “bad” side of me disappear, but I’ve never been able to do that. So I’ve prepared myself for those moments of unclarity; those times when I just want to get my fix.
Night time is a huge trigger for me too. But I plan now to not make it easy to act out when the desire comes. All access to porn is blocked from my house and phone. If I want to act out at night, I’ll have to leave the house, and spend some bucks. Usually, I come to my senses before I get to that point. Why make it easy to fail when a bigger part of me wants to succeed. Work smarter, not harder.
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I completely agree with you, there is a chance to play it easy when we are able to see the trick. Lastly I have came to believe that psychological side cannot be ignore in this battle. I have realised that we are becoming what we believe. Starting over with well detected plans and determination in mind is important. It is really difficult to fight pornography thinking all day about it but instead of fighting against thoughts, finding ways to ignore them does play a significant role here.
I have to vent on here before reading my book. A few minutes ago I was in a hurry and in an excitement that I would get in the bad and start my session of pornograhy but no, I won’t. I won’t listen to my mind. It gave me nothing, it promises nothing to me. I have been in the serve of my addicted brain and the only thing I got was always a remorseful man thinking about suicide everytime. But without it life is better. I am sure. I am gonna make through the night.
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Made it through today and it feels good even better than the highs while I was partaking in long sessions of PMO. Actually I want to forget about the past and not to bring those mistakes I have done into my thoughts every time. I just want to move on to the next stage, by dealing with only withdrawals. I’m still 23 and I want to renew myself by beating this addiction and want to fully contribute to myself instead of focusing on negative stuff I have been through.
I want it badly, and I think it will heal all my anxiety… but… that is a trick. I do not want to go back, this is the moment where I will look back and not regret. I have to stay strong, and I have to make it through the night.