I thought I would share today about my Ketamine addiction. It’s not an addiction I hear about often on here. Ketamine is the reason I am here on this app, it is the one drug that brought me to my knees.
When I discovered Ketamine I was going through some major depression and the way it just pulled me out of it …I got hooked. The 2nd month after I became addicted I spent 6,000$ on the drug thinking it was an “investment.” I thought the drug was the answer to humanity’s problems, that we should put it in the water supply. It hijacked my brain so quickly. I really believed it made me better. And it did, for a minute there…I was happy. Until I wasn’t.
I spent 7 months and thousands of dollars chasing the high. When I reached out to my family for help, their reaction was to take my daughter away from me. So I hid it. I pretended I was fine but I had a dirty secret and I couldn’t escape. I kept the ketamine in liquid form as a nasal spray and would snort it from morning to night. I had upwards of 12 of these things throughout the house and in purses. At work I would keep it in my bra and snort it every chance I could get. I tried to limit myself! At one point, I tried doing it 5 times a day but that was so hard, I constantly felt defeated. I was a prisoner to the drug. I remember throwing it up into the attic multiple times and 30 minutes later crawling up there to find it. I thought I needed it to do my job. My brain was so fried! After 9 months of this hell, I quit my job and began trying to get sober. I dumped it down the drain and only went back one time. I drank about a bottle of wine a day coming off of it and this lasted for months. Mind you, at the time I had a 1 year old. Ahh, I remember being able to smell my baby again! The joy I felt!! I remember how good it felt to be able to feel joy again after being numb for so long.
Since my addiction to Ketamine, I can no longer drink alcohol because everytime I do, I drink until oblivion. I am now an alcoholic. I mean I think I was an alcoholic before but now it’s really, really bad. So my focus is to stay off the booze because that will be the death of me if I continue.
Some weird things about my Ketamine addiction: I thought I could communicate with the other side and with aliens. I became afraid of Wifi and pesticides. I was afraid of microwaves…refused to microwave anything. I thought I was “limitless”… I was basically bat shit crazy y’all! Oh yeah! I had bladder pains for an entire year after I quit. Almost forgot about that, so scary. There is probably a whole lot more I could add to this story but I will leave it at this.
Glad to be free… 14 months, 11 days, and 23 hours. FREE. I am no longer in pain.
Thanks everyone. I couldn’t have done it without you all! This place has been my saving grace, especially in the beginning checking in daily. I never felt alone.
We are all in this battle of addiction together. One day at a time. Have a great sober day everyone.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Sarah. That’s one drug I never tried but only because it wasn’t easily accessible. I’m sure I would have found myself chasing that high just like you. So glad you were able to overcome it in time to enjoy your little girl’s childhood.
Im glad you were able to escape. Recovery is awesome!
I never tried K. I always wanted to, but it never crossed my path. I tried to find it and buy it. I got ripped off a few times and gave up. Last summer It crossed my path in SLC utah. I was sooo tempted but I had my feet planted firmly enough in recovery that I didnt do it.
I related to your story very much with meth. I thought it was the answer to everything. Crazy hallucinations. I was bat shit crazy too!
I knew drugs were a problem I tried really hard to make alcohol work for me, but the results proved Im alcoholic and drinking will bring me a dishonorable death before my time. I’m 10,000 times more likely to do drugs if I drink. If I was drunk last summer, Id probably be addicted to K right now.
I enjoyed reading your story. It got me reflecting. Today is the first day of my two week break from work, and I find my inner addict/alcoholic whispering sweet nothings into my ear.
Ive been feeling really strong in recovery lately. My inner addict/alcoholic is still lurking. I’m not going to fall for his trickery today!
Thank you so much for sharing your harrowing and heartbreaking story. You are so strong and have so much to be proud of over those months!!! Congrats on your sober time!!!
Thanks Lisa and @JasonFisher
My “friend” and dealer who got me hooked on the drug has a $40,000 a year habit and has lost everything. He is going to lose his bladder and his life soon. He just went to rehab but left after a week. I am so lucky I could overcome it. So glad you didn’t try it Jason. Definitely not worth it. Life is soooo much better sober!
What a great story…thank you for sharing. Ketamine was a drug I abused too (though not as much as alcohol and cocaine). I had a lot of the same “supernatural” connection thoughts when I was on it too. Now I direct my energy through good old fashioned meditation and trying to help others, and trying not to be a selfish dick. Thank god for the joys of sobriety
Same!! Yeah, you totally get it. Crazy how now with yoga, meditation, a healthy diet, and sobriety, I get all the things ketamine promised me but without all the horrible side effects of addiction. I feel like the more I help others, the better life gets. I believe now I can finally manifest the life I want with drugs and alcohol out of my way.
what a story! i tried K once at a party and it made me so energetic, chatty. i can see why folks get addicted. i was always weary because i’m an animal owner and i heard vets use it. also, i just looked up some info on K and they mention ketamine bladder syndrome. so you’re not alone with problematic bladders!
Yeah! I didn’t find out about the bladder syndrome until after I was addicted. It destroys the epithelial tissue in the bladder. I can only imagine what it does to other parts of the body!! After 9 months of using, it aged me sooo bad and made me feel so old and achy.
I was a big ketamine user in my mid 20s, looking back I was pretty crazy too not surprising really giving that I was in another world most of the time. Really used to get freaked out about aliens and other supernatural things going on… for me it was the dissociative effect that got me, I wasnt happy in my real life so used that to get transported to another world in my mind, same way as how I ended up using alcohol, I would perpously drink to black out so I could get away from everything.
I had some friends who used it a lot and one got really ill on the stuff, not sure what happened to him actually but he was very unwell last time I saw him, looked almost like the alien off that old cocoon film. Others had bladder issues and god knows what else. Really awful when I look back (feel a little bit sick now actually) but at the time I felt like it made everything alive and vibrant… it just turned me into a looney bore really…
So glad you’re doing ok now and was able to get off it with no long term damage done
Reading your words felt like bearing witness to you shedding a skin, scales of shame or secrecy, something now left behind and no longer needed or wanted. All that is really left is the truth of you, who you are. To me? The truth is that you are brave, beautiful, sober and clean.
not surprising really giving that I was in another world most of the time. Really used to get freaked out about aliens and other supernatural things going on… 
for me it was the dissociative effect that got me, I wasnt happy in my real life so used that to get transported to another world in my mind, same way as how I ended up using alcohol, I would perpously drink to black out so I could get away from everything.
