Gorgeous girls!! Great picture 🫶🏻:pray:t2:
Thank you all those girls are my reason for being sober and staying sober. They light up my life!!!
Y’all this journey is not easy at all but I’m at say 5 so I’m not going back ever again
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I have to tell you all about my day it’s been rough to day the least.
It’s been so hard having my husband back home and to know he isn’t going back on the road is bringing back the urge to drink.
I was able to finish my girls room and put it together so nicely they are very happy but as I’m cleaning their room he is complaining about not having space to put his clothes. When we got our new furniture I told him do not make a junk drawer with a lot of papers and tools and so on but he did. So now he is trying to put up so his stuff he expects me to move around my stuff so he can put his stuff up while I’m cleaning the kids room and trying to do other things. He proceeds to do like he always has done and that is be lazy. He laid in the bed and watched TV and was in his phone the entire time!!!
I had the kids even though I was busy around the house and I was hoping he would be more helpful with them but it’s more of the same. If he watches the kids he will pretty much lay them down and let them just watch their iPad until they fall asleep and he will go to sleep.
I decided to bbq today but it ended up being late like I’m not able to finish because it’s almost 11pm here so I’m trying to finish some burgers and cook my sides.
He was outside with me sitting down and complaining about how I’m bbqing, how late it is, how the kids not listening and running around too much. I’m trying to cook and the kids coming to me for drinks and snacks and to play and I’m trying to be everything for them and cook while he sits there.
It got to the point he was falling asleep and I’m running in and out and the kids coming to me for everything. I told him to just take the kids upstairs and I’ll wrap up and finish cooking everything else tomorrow.
He complained because the kids lost one of their cups that still had juice in it and talking about that’s why we find cups with juice in them but in reality he didn’t want to fix another one.
I wish he was still on the road to be honest and I don’t know how I’m going to do this with him coming home everyday. He can be impossible at times and soooooo lazy. He will stay in the room in bed all day.
Before you ask no he does not drink or smoke or do anything at all.
He has always been this way which is one reason I started drinking because I was so bored with him because we never do anything because he doesn’t trust anyone with the kids so date nights are none existent. Also he doesn’t participate out want to go with us when I do stuff with the kids.
I’ve talked about it with him but he gets mad and never change. So I’m changing and I feel he has the potential to get me annoyed upset and drink……
Sorry for the long post again
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Good morning everyone!!!
So it’s 3:56am here and my husband just woke me up to get myself and the kids ready to do his last run together.
I excited and scared if possible tension with him but I want to think positive and hope it all goes ok.
I gotta hurry and get ready so I’ll update as soon as I can.
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This is crappy behaviour. If he doesn’t move a finger he should shut the fuck up and go out of your way, you are his wife not his servant.
If you drank to cope with the situation it’s a clear sign that the situation has to change. If you like, join us on the loved ones thread. it’s not only for addicted loved ones, you are welcome to share any kind of relationship struggle and find support and kindness 
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So after some arguing back and forth e are finally on the road ave the kids are loving it!! We have never rode with him before so this is pretty cool so far. Me and the kids are in the back of the truck laying in the bed looking out the window and on our devices.
I wish my husband and I can communicate without always getting into it over every small thing. Since he is back home I’m going to try to get us back into marriage counseling.
I don’t want a divorce or anything like that and that’s mostly for the sake of my kids because I grew up without my dad and I refuse to let them not have that family with two patients in the same home. I dunno I guess
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@erntedank yes here sucks so much at times and complains so much it’s crazy
. He has to learn romance and communication, nays s both do I dunno
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Its a tough situation you are in. You are doing amazingly well with your sober days!
I do hope that you are able to convince your hubby into couples counselling.
Hope you all are having a lovely day today. Did you make it to the beach?
So today we did get to ride with my husband to Daytona but when I asked if we could stop by the beach he was basically like “is that the only reason y’all came just to try to go to the beach?” I’m like no but it would be nice and the kids kept asking if we could go as well. Basically he said no and we came straight home.
After we got home I started my normal trying to clean up and finish grilling. He acted like he was going to help but he sat down outside and fell asleep and left the kids running around when I thought he was watching them. I was so upset but he complained about being tired and how he only got 2 hours of sleep but he did sleep and stay in bed almost all day yesterday. He complained about how he still trying to make up on rest from being on the road and about how me and the kids took a nap on the way home which was only less than 2 hours. So I told him to go to bed and I will cook, clean, watch the kids, and do the stuff he needs me to do.
My body is tired and I’m so tired but I just litter it go.
Lastly right now I’m feeling super super depressed to the point I started tearing up and just came in the bathroom to get away from him. Basically my aunt totaled my car back in June and since my husband been gone I’ve been using his car like it was mine. Now he’s home and me and the kids are going to be stuck home all day everyday starting tomorrow until he decides I can get another car. My aunt is giving me $1000 on Wednesday for rent for her staying here and to start helping me with the down payment for whatever car I get. I told him she wanted me to use that money for a car and he dismissed me talking about how we can pay other bills, his car needs an oil change which is going to be expensive, and so on. So basically he spent the money before I even got it…… 
. I was hoping to go to the place we have gotten all our cars from in the past because they are good at working with us on the down payment but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.
I haven’t been without a car in over 5 years especially with two kids and now starting tomorrow I’m going to be stuck here with the kids and I never wanted to be stuck home during my sobriety because when I was drinking I never went anywhere and now we’ve been going to the park every morning and just doing random stuff to keep me busy and now I have to figure this out. I hate this.
I’m sorry for all these long posts but my sobriety is being tested very hard since my husband came home and I don’t know what to do from here.
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How comes he tells you what to do and use your money? That’s bullshit. You are his wife not his slave, servant or belonging.
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I’m a stay at home mom and he does bring in all the money and normally he would have been fine with me trying to get a car but lately every time I say something about getting a car he always always say something about us not being able to afford it but he loves to gamble and I was drinking so with those two things cut out yes we can more than afford it. When we had two car notes at one point we was bringing in way less money than we are now and my aunt lives with us and pays 600 per month and she is going to help pay the car note since she wrecked my car. So it’s like why not let us start the process to get the car. Unfortunately I can’t go get a car without him because I don’t work so his name has to be on it too but yeah it suck’s
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I don’t understand. Why can’t you buy a car? Buying a car has nothing to do with having a job where you get paid. You can afford it - you buy it. What did I miss in the middle?
I lived in the US myself and had no problems buying a car as a non-citizen.
So when I started looking for a car each place I looked asked about if I was employed and when I said I was a stay at home mom they would always say my husband had to be a signer on the car since I didn’t have any income even though we have a joint account where all the money goes. So unless I missed something that’s why I stopped looking before because he was on the road and it was impossible to coordinate with when he would be home to sign for the car
Also I wanted to go back to the same car lot where my husband has gotten his last two cars and my first car 5 years ago that was wrecked because they have good cars that tend to last a long time and since we have paid off 3 cars through them now they give us a good deal without all that up selling stuff.
Oh girl - i am sorry your day turned so crappy yesterday. Stay at home mom with two young girls to take care of is not an easy task (it’s more than a full time job). I am at a loss for words.
I think you should revisit the car situation as its not just for your mental sanity but also a safety issue if something were to happen - you don’t need to be waiting around for an uber or whatever.
Has your hubby given up the gambling? Cause otherwise what you have laid out below seems like you can totally afford to get a another vehicle.
You should also have an account in your name (not just joint). I know many ladies that work as a stay at home wife/ mother and money weekly from their husbands. Not sure if this is something you would be able to bring up with your husband.
You are doing so damn well with your sobriety and all the added stresses. Please do not let him be the reason you relapse. You are worthy of a healthy addiction free life. We are here for you love - vent away and i do hope that writing it out here helps.
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Technically no he has not stopped gambling all together. I’m actually the one who introduced him to gambling and at one point while he was on the road he got way out of hand spending thousands a week so he slowed down but he still gambles around 100 or more each well from what I’ve seen on the back records and he tends to transfer money from the account to his little chime prepaid card or Apple Pay so I’m not sure what he does with that money.
I told him when I got sober that he may need to look into giving up gambling but he doesn’t think he has a problem he just got out of hand because he was lonely in the road.
He makes really great money to be honest and we can afford to get me a car he just seems to drag his feet about it or don’t think it’s a priority.
It’s been so burning today without a car. It was also raining so we couldn’t walk anywhere either. When I told my aunt that my husband had other plans for the money she giving me to help replace the car she wrecked she was upset because she has been working hard and so much overtime so I can get a car and she was hoping it could happen this week. I told my husband I’m going to drop him off tomorrow he was like well you need to take the car to get an oil change using the money I’m getting tomorrow smh. I also tried to talk to him about making a plan to get me a car and I was trying to get one this week and he would just sit silent or just say unhuh. I finally told him every time I say something about getting me a car he never has a conversation with me about doing it. Then he said well if we have the money this week we can try but we gotta pay this and that and I just got so upset I hung up.
I feel like the focus has been taken off my sobriety journey and since he has been home things have not been happy at all.
I hope we can get into counseling soon for my sanity and sobriety or I don’t know if I will make it sober living with him. I don’t feel independent anymore and I know it’s just a car but it’s also my home I had things the way I wanted them and was working to get my home cleaned and together but since he came home it’s just been a mess and doesn’t look like I did much of anything.
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If I have to get a job and make him move out or something until we can get on the same page then that’s what I have to do because I’m not going back to who I was a week ago.
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WOW - this was intense day for conversations for you and for you to leave it with these thoughts and your 1 week milestone is amazing! I am sorry you are not feeling independent and I do hope that you are able to regain that feeling for yourself.
Kicking ass Dnaielle for you and your girls! I am super proud of you!
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