I had 90 days in, then I slipped at a Christmas party. Then again around new years. Then i bought a bottle and tried to hide that i was drinking. Twice. Then I bought a bottle opener on Amazon and snuck 3 bottles of wine. Then I drank a bottle at Olive Garden, and hung out till it wore off enough to drive. Then my husband wanted a drink, so he bought a little bottle and we shared it… then we went on vacation and drank every night. He uses alcohol for pain when he overdoes it at work. Not a good plan for sure. We’ll, he’s been working 10 hour days getting ready for the flooding so I get wasted each and every night…
Listing it all out like that really shows me how easy it was to slip back into old habits.
Last weekend was my husband’s 60th birthday. Party was scheduled for Saturday. We both bought a bottle Friday, so there was plenty left. I snuck into my adult son’s room (he hides them for us to keep me from going nuts) and snagged the partial. I was 4 shots in when my son called his dad to tell on me. He canceled his birthday party. We drank that night. I found and finished the last bottle the next morning.
The next day he was getting ready to leave and said, if you buy a bottle in going to file for divorce, sell the house and take my half and you can go live in filth and drink yourself to death for all i care.
Welcome back Jennifer.
I hope you have a good plan to work on your sobriety. When I turned 60 I said I’ve had enough. Fat drunk and hungover and planning my life around my next drink is no way to go through my bronze years. I’m addicted to this app now and sober AF!
Have a good read around. Join in when you’re comfortable. You can take your life back if you put in the work and get support. It’s too hard to do it alone.
Firstly, I’m glad you’re here. You need to be here for yourself, and your true desire to live a sober life, not because you’ve been threatened with divorce.
I’m going to say something; I’m angry at your husband. Knowing you’ve had a problem in the past, he’s hardly what one might call a pillar of support.
Also, people in glass houses ought not to throw stones. His own relationship with alcohol sounds less than healthy too.
It sounds like you both need to quit alcohol, whether that means sober together, or sober apart. He’s nobody to be throwing around threats when he has a drink problem himself.
I’m happy to see you decided to come back here. I’ll ask you what are you going to do differently?
I spent 18 years bouncing in and out of sobriety. I DO NOT recommend that approach - it was only luck that I did not kill myself or someone else in my daily blackouts, and the consequences just got worse and worse.
Finally two things happened. I faced the threat of jail, again, for DUI again, but it came with a daily check in at the police station for a breath test. Breaking my sobriety down into 24 hour chunks was something my addled brain could latch onto. That was the beginning of my permanent sobriety. The other thing that happened was an out of body, spiritual experience at the moment of my last drink. But I did not recognize it as such at the time. It took months, maybe a year, before I became aware of it for what it was. I do feel the spiritual power of that simple message “Everything is gonna be alright. You’ll be able to stop drinking now.” helped get me through those early days without my being conscious of it.
For you, I hope the threat of losing your home and spouse comes with the help you need to really dig in and grow that sobriety.
Blessings on your house as you begin your journey.
I was about to inquire about you @WriterJennifer, in the “You are missed” thread. I hope that the last couple of weeks have been kind to you.
Let every misstep be a learning moment, beginning with the first one, the holiday party. Personally, I would argue that anyone with less than a year should avoid any social gathering, including Christmas parties, weddings (reception), birthdays, anniversarys, etc.
Unfortunately, you’ve learned the hard way, as many of us had, there is no “just one”, not for people like us.
Take what you’ve learned and apply it to your sobriety journey, otherwise you’ll get the same results.
Let us know how you’re doing and how we can help. We’re all rooting for you!
and my last shot 
.
as you begin your journey.