This is incredible. I wish I could find an event like that. I’m in the Midwest and they look at you like you’re nuts if you ask for a pop even if you explain it by saying “I’m the DD” usually it doesn’t bother me but I’ve not gone to a few pop ups where I live cause your entry fee is the same wether you are having the fancy cocktails or not. Didn’t seem worth the $. But if they would have had mocktail options I’d have definitely gone with my friends.
That’s true! It is hard to find places where NA options are normal. I used to live to go to breweries, but they hardly ever have NA choices. It’s a bummer, but I’m starting to see more options around. And having my NA go-to’s to order has gotten easier.
But i wish it was more places! I was certainly stoked to see in the FAQ they would have NA options 
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2- years. There’s no bad time to make a change.
Thinking back to this day 2 years ago… I re-read my first “public” post on Nov 28th. I sound so scared, helpless and overrun. I was tired of being sick and tired, I was tired of the drama that never stopped, I was so over feeling out of control. I was on anxiety and depression meds and had gotten to my last straw by seeing a counselor again. I was not sure that being sober was even possible, I had tried so many times over so many years to get it under control with moderating- but it always won again.
“I’m on day #5 for the umpteenth time. I got in a big fight with my husband the other day because i lied to him about how much a drank, and i hate myself for being like that - arguing trying to explain to him its OK that i drink to have fun & he should be less judgemental. I know it takes at least 10 days for alcohol to fully clear your system. I’ve read a lot about how bad it is for you, my dad was an alcoholic & essentially died from fatty liver. I’ve made it 30-40 days before, and felt great, thought i was able to control it & always eventually go back down that Slope again. Maybe i need to try to be clean forever so i don’t go downhill and can be who i vision.”
I don’t even know how I managed to get through the holiday season, deciding to stop drinking 2 days before Thanksgiving seemed like a really dumb idea, but I knew I didn’t want to get in a stupid blow-out fight again. I didn’t think my marriage would handle many more. I wasn’t even sure this sober thing needed to happen, but I knew something needed to change. My drinking demon could not stay in control of my life- and he was. It felt like a compulsion I couldn’t stop- my mind would say no- but my arms would still grab that bottle. It was surreal and such a struggle.
I had read several books over the years, listened to several podcasts most days commuting to work, tried journaling. You know- all the things, so I had ideas for tools to avoiding the drink. I kept my own sober drinks with me and went to some holiday events, avoided others completely. Or left relatively quickly after the main event, dinner or whatever it was. It felt rather white knuckle! But I got through it. I did everything I could to just not drink “right now”.
I downloaded some sober trackers that tracked money saved and the health improvements you body goes through- the first 6 months are the most! (After that it slows a little- my next milestone is in 3 more years- haha.)
Honestly, I’m still not sure that I need to be sober “forever”. That seems so infinite. I do know that I don’t feel the need to drink right now. Or for every event, good, bad, celebratory, stressful, dinner, after work, to deal with irritating people or a health scare. I do know that I feel healthier, less exhausted, I sleep better, I eat better, I’m not having a hard time staying the same weight. I don’t feel as irritated, or overwhelmed when I get curve-balls, it is easier to wake up and work every day. I’m not crying as much or plagued with bad memories as often. I like having dessert when we go out and sober mock-tails actually taste better then the boozy ones. I’m not scared of feeling like the odd-ball not drinking. I’ve noticed lots of people don’t drink as much as I thought they were. Maybe I thought everyone was hammered all the time because I was.
So basically- my life feels better. Do I sometimes wish I could moderate and “be normal”? Maybe, but not really anymore. Since when did poisoning yourself become “normal”? That seems so dumb thinking on it. My husband doesn’t drink that often- or really that much (and even less now since I’ve stopped). But I do notice a difference in him- he snores that night and he wakes up later and slower. He’s never really hungover (he’s lucky)- but even just one or two drinks make a difference. And seeing that- makes me want it even less.
The best time to make a change is right now. When ever your “right now” is.
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The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now.
Chinese proverbs traditional
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I’m so grateful for your presence here, Beachy. Have a great Thanksgiving!
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I am a bit late but wanted to congratulate! 
I was thinking at first, hmm, does the title of your thread still makes sense until you came about this question further on. It’s an interesting question. I quit thinking about it. I guess it was at the point when I had to decide: living and striving for a healthier life or giving up and die (inside then outside).
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was reading some articles today. and this stood out…
“Memento vivere… Remember to live.”
i made a pic for it…
you can read the inspiration here…
HI @anon74766472! I hear you… I still question sobriety a lot. I debated changing my title… but I think the question might linger awhile still. Sometimes I really want a drink, but I still remember all the pain it caused. So I haven’t found a way to balance that. And I’m pretty sure I will try to drink again until there is a way I know for certain it won’t cause all the problems again.
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I missed your anniversary, @Beachy!! Congratulations!! And here you are, two years later. Three Thanksgivings behind you. Your initial post, although, it does sound “scared, hopeless, and overrun”, also sounds like someone who has given their problem drinking a lot of thought and is ready for a change. And you were and you did!! Glad you found TS!! A life saver for many. Me, included.
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Thank you! It was a long rough road to get there, and it’s been an interesting and bumpy ride since! But working through it! And glad I’m here.
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- DEC 23rd. The day before my life got turned upside down when i was 17. my dad suddenly died on Christmas eve morning. I was on a long road trip driving to pick up my boyfriend for the holidays when I was told.
Before that news, I was hanging with a group of friends and we partied a lot. Having that type of escape in my life only got worse over the next few years because that was my way of coping with the loss, and then every other event as well. I think it messed up my way of dealing with things normally. I would always go get messed up to escape.
My holidays are always tainted by that, and that all my other grandparents have passed have been within 2 weeks of the holiday. Many years I would light a candle and have a drink for him & them. Now it seems dumb to do that. Drinking is literally what lead to my dad having liver failure and collapsing. He was drinking so much to deal with the divorce from my mom. He was actually in rehab for the 2 holidays seasons prior. Maybe the holidays were a trigger for him also.
For years I’ve been worried I wouldn’t make it even as long as he did. He passed at 46. I’m getting close. But my odds are better now that I’ve finally let booze stop having a hold on me.
It still makes me super sad to think about it. But I’m having a better time working through the emotions instead of trying to escape from them.
I try to make the holidays not a sad time for my family, but it is still hard to not have that dark cloud around me. Writing about it helps me get it out a little. It’s crazy how many years it hurts. This year, no memorial drinks, but just trying to remember some of the good times, with the few pictures I have from so long ago. i was a “daddy’s girl” but not enough to keep him away from his own demons. And i still struggle to keep my drinking demon away so that i don’t create the same hell for my family.
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I think the choice is yours as hard as it is friends or sobriety, we can always make new friends but we are only given so many chances for sobriety, to me i am fighting for my life with this disease so to me its a no brainer, sorry to come across so harsh, its just i have lost so many family members to this disease
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yes- lots of friends lost also. the memories are hard- and seeing the culmination of their struggle snuffed out so young. It crazy how hard it is not to get sucked back into that hell. it’s easier now a couple years away from my last drink, but still.
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That’s brilliant well done on that
Dry January 8th!
“You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life” (from my quote app this morning)
Day #775
That quote rather makes me think of all the things that are normal now, that were NOT normal when I was still drinking. And oh lordy, have I had to go through some bad days while boozing!
1- I seem to wake up before my husband in the mornings. Many times before his alarm clock. This is soooo weird! I almost always slept in when ever I could. Before my body was just so tired! The days without an alarm, if i got up before 9- it was crazy. Now, waking up at a time with a 5 or 6 on it is normal, and I’m not tired or cranky!
2- I don’t feel the drive to have to go hangout all the time. I’m perfectly happy just being at the house doing random things, or venturing out to do my “have-to’s”. I think I always wanted to hangout so I had a valid reason to be drinking. Granted there were many, many times I would also just drink around the house (getting the mean eyes from my husband the whole time, so I would try to hide how much I was drinking) which would lead to a fight, hurt feelings and an uncomfortable relationship.
3- When we go out- I’m not driven by ordering drinks, or gauging if I got a short pour, or it’s not “strong enough” or if I’ll have enough in the cooler. Heaven forbid if we ran out! Also when we got out to eat- our bill is usually in the $30 range vice the $100+ range!
4- I am way less stressed and depressed. I know I’ve said this many times, but before I finally had enough, and realized booze wasn’t doing me any favors, I was on anti depressants, anti-anxiety and allergy meds. Turns out, I was allergic to booze (among a couple other things, but mainly booze- causing swollen sinuses, hive breakouts, and intense migraines on the regular). My anxiety was through the roof, and so was my depression. I would have intense flash-backs, and drink to deal- only to end up in a panic crying about the memories. The meds finally started to work when I stopped drinking and I was finally able to make progress with a counselor and now the memories are less intense. I have less of those flash-backs and I’m not a raging, angry crying mess that often. Yes- I still have emotions, but they don’t debilitate me like they did before. I haven’t taken those meds in a long time now.
5- I hardly get sick! Those last 10 years I hardly got “sick” but was plagued with various bugs and infections every year (that I can now only attribute to my base toxicity level from regularly ingesting poison). Some laying me up in the hospital. Which I’m happy to say, I haven’t had any weird scares in awhile. Yes I’ve had a stuffy nose a little bit this winter, but not even a full blown cold this year.
There’s many others… but in the interest of time, those are the big ones, and these days are way better without all those bad ones!
So if you are on the fence and can’t figure out if quitting is worth it- IT IS! Those few examples have been game changers for me and I don’t want to go back to the emotional hell where I felt like crap all the time, was irritable and just not enjoying life.
If you are clear-headed today and ready to make the most of it- Cheers to another good day! (with my soda stream lemon bubbly water) 
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This is such an inspiring post to read today, thank you!! Your journey unfolding has been so insightful. I love your list!! Oh wow yes, the savings on dinner out, who knew???
And the difference in anxiety and stress…like night and day…again…I never saw that coming. Which is sad, but life.
I am glad your holidays were as good as they could be. Many many hugs.
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Yay! So many benefits. So good to see you posting.
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