Thank you @tailee17. That’s really cool your dad did that! What a great memory 
I never grew up watching them and felt really lost at trivia last week- so trying up catch up now that they aren’t as terrifying
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Kinda crazy to think that 4 years ago I was a stressed, anxious, frazzled, panicked mess, grasping at staws, trying to fight compulsively drinking (mind saying no, body reaching for the bottle anyway), trying to hide it, getting into fights with my husband, thinking I was getting divorced, on anxiety, depression and sleep meds.
I’ve come a long way- and looking back- i think the common denominator was alcohol. It was running my life and ruining it.
I am in control now. And I have to reflect and remember how bad it was. Because sometimes i miss getting tipsy- but I know how quickly getting tipsy turns into my drinking demon taking control.
So I’m still keeping Damon (my drinking demon) locked up. 4 years now.
It’s easier, alcohol is no longer controlling me it’s not the center of every event (happy things, after work things, angry things, dinner things, boat things,
pool things, summer things, winter things, sports things, every thing…). And my life has so much more going on, and even though I still have chaos- the chaos isn’t driving me to medicate with booze and prescriptions. I’m not getting the crazy ptsd flashbacks as often, i have less headaches, i wake up earlier, i don’t fight with my husband as bad, i have a more even keeled life.
So that’s my why today. I’m so glad I was finally sick and tired enough of being sick and tired and a passenger in my own journey that I used some grit and made a change.
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Congratulations on 4 years @Beachy! 
Sorry, I’m late to your party.
Hope you were able to do something nice for yourself to celebrate.
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Hoping everyone has a happy holiday. Been a busy fall. Hosting in-laws for a week.
Month 49.
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- Busy holiday. Back at work. Traveling to the frigid cold.
Wondering what people’s thoughts are on Cali-sober. I have some friends that quit drinking, but use THC drinks/ gummies, or the mushroom chocolates. I can’t due to my work, but not sure how I feel about it. I would love a way to escape, but is that really starting sober? I want to celebrate with them on their sober time- but it doesn’t seem the same. No matter what- quitting booze is hard. I wish I could escape sometimes, but are they really sober? Most times I see them they are partying with those other things.
Just random musings of my mind.
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I find it a weird concept. Just because something is legal now, it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Exhibit 1 : alcohol 
If you’re addicted enough to have to work hard to quit one substance why pick up another? Because it’s LESS harmful but still harmful?
Doesn’t make a lot of sense.
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- “Happiness is by design” is my quote today. I want to believe that, but think it is only partially true. External factors can still play a big role. I was pretty sad recently. Just missing some friends who i thought were friends, but i guess were not. It’s hard to make friends- especially when you’re not drinking with them…
Not sure how to design that, but I’ll keep going. Winter is cold and kind of depressing, most of the stuff we like to do isn’t available. So it’s a quiet day today.
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- Is been a bit since i posted- but I’ve just been working the juggle… teaching, got some charters, working on marketing (ugh- that’s a lot!) fostering more kittens… all the randomness that is my life. Hope everyone is having a great day!
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