Yes I hear you. This is resonating deeply for me. I too feel like I’m on the edge of something big, but I feel like this time I want to fly. I’m starting to feel like I’m looking forward to something rather than losing something. Had a reset on Tuesday and so back on the wagon for the 100th time but slowly slowly each time feels easier. This last stretch I’ve really done the work, journals, slowed, down, and it’s starting to feel nice. So onward and upwards. Thanks for you post.
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The “most wonderful time of the year” feels a lot different when it’s the anniversary of a tragedy. My dad lost his battle with alcoholism on Christmas Eve, and every year since, the holiday lights feel a little dimmer. To anyone else white-knuckling it through the “fake joy” because of loss or addiction: I see you. Be gentle with yourselves today.
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