Yes I hear you. This is resonating deeply for me. I too feel like I’m on the edge of something big, but I feel like this time I want to fly. I’m starting to feel like I’m looking forward to something rather than losing something. Had a reset on Tuesday and so back on the wagon for the 100th time but slowly slowly each time feels easier. This last stretch I’ve really done the work, journals, slowed, down, and it’s starting to feel nice. So onward and upwards. Thanks for you post.
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The “most wonderful time of the year” feels a lot different when it’s the anniversary of a tragedy. My dad lost his battle with alcoholism on Christmas Eve, and every year since, the holiday lights feel a little dimmer. To anyone else white-knuckling it through the “fake joy” because of loss or addiction: I see you. Be gentle with yourselves today.
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Been a minute. Life is chaos and boring at the same time. Wonder about drinking and all my friends (are they friends?) Most people seem to be business “friends”, which is hard to swallow. I love so many things about this place, but struggling to see where I fit. Guess that is life…
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I think its normal to have these times where we question if we could have a better life outside recovery.
I found myself there at about 8 years sober. I sat on it for a couple of years. I thought it would be easy to quit again if it didnt work out.
I was wrong. It was harder to quit than the first time. Much harder.
Dont do it. Its a trap!
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Maybe check out an AA meeting. It is a great place to develop deeper relationships.
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Yeah- maybe other clubs. We joined a couple business clubs, but feel like we had made some friends, but use think they only want ways to make money of us. Marketing or “deals”. Been hard to find real people lately!
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