Once you can safely get some gentle food down, sleep, as well as get past the first days of withdrawal and finish whatever detox med plan you may be on, your brain is physically going to be in a much less frantic state and this probably won’t seem so awful and dire as it does now. Take care of your body right now, your physical needs. Get whatever sleep and rest and nutrition your body will accept. If you’re too emotionally or mentally worked up, stuff like Netflix or just lying on the couch watching your boyfriend play a video game can help distract and pass the time. The physical will ease and it’ll shift to a mental battle.
I have a few notes I’ve written during withdrawal or active addiction about how terrible my situation felt at the time. That could be a useful thing to do now when you’re in the thick of it. It can help just getting it out, but also if you save it and read it later on, it can be really eye opening as a reminder to what alcohol has to offer you. It’ll be a perspective that won’t bullshit you like the alcohol voice in your head saying reach for a drink, and that’s useful.
You might find your days fluctuating a lot. Reading this forum and checking in often won’t hurt. Neither will observing in some online meetings (you can totally join in, but in this kinda state I’m anticipating you might prefer just listening, both are cool).