I am happily married except for one terrible thing that has been with me for years. I have managed to keep a porn addiction secret. I have tried so many times to just stop, but then recently I crossed a line that has made me realize I need support to get through this.
I was out of town and a girl I used to work with ended up in the room where I am staying. I have no interest in her, but she began to get very touchy and started to take my hand and put it on her body under her clothes and kissed me twice. I did pull away, but I only half resisted. After a few minutes I told her she has to leave and she did. I feel awful. My wife just moved to a new town and I haven’t told her yet, since she is very vulnerable and I think it’s better to wait until I have moved there as well.
I have realized that I think this is a culmination of my addiction. It has already very negatively affected our intimacy. I feel like human garbage and don’t know what to do. I adore her and so much of our marriage is perfect other than this. I am so afraid that this is something so bad it will ruin us.
So I am posting here to have somewhere I can be part of a community to help me recover and to find some guidance.
I just read through your story. Thank you for sharing. I am glad to hear that you feel better after joining. I am definitely in a dark place right now and needing to heal. I know it’s probably right, but being a cheater is so isolating. Society has so little compassion for these mistakes. I don’t know, maybe rightfully so… But hearing some hope is certainly nice. I pray I can patch things up with my wife once I tell her.
Hi, welcome. I’m new here also and this community has already helped me out a lot. I think you will always find support here because we all know what it’s like living with addiction and how damaging PMO addiction can be not just for ourselves but the people we love.
I won’t go to deep into my story (you can click on my profile and see my posts if interested) but essentially I’m a lifelong PMO addict and its consumed a lot of my life, my time, my relationships. I must pursue a course of deep soul and psycological searching in order to manage my addiction better and take back control of my life.
Everyone has a a unique background and story as to why they got addicted and why they are in sobrierty. Everyone has to find their own path to recovery but I think you will find a lot of support and encouragement here to help you find it.
Thank you. The support is certainly why I’m here. This culmination just happened a few days ago, so I am overwhelmed with shame and certainly needing the support. Looking at Reddit was a mistake, there is a lack of compassion there to say the least. I guess it’s easy to criticize when you haven’t made the same mistake…
I did look at your story as well and wish you strength in your own journey. Glad to be a part of this community
Yea… I tried reddit once before. It really was not a helpful place for recovery to me. I can say quite honestly that I think everyone here just wants support and community. I think we’re all in a tough spot in life and need understanding from likeminded people.
I’m so happy that you are here with us. I’m new here as well. As you have already seen, you are certainly not alone in your struggle. And, here in this community, you will find advice, support, and insights that will surely help you…
For the record, I have followed through on cheating several times on my wife due to my addiction. Once was with a former close girlfriend of hers. My wife almost left me, but she decided to stay (for the life of me, I don’t know why)… that’s why I’m here; to learn to love my wife the way she loves me.
You’re not alone; you can do this; don’t ever give up on it.
It helps a lot knowing you’re not alone in the struggle and others are having the same walk. I’m sending strength your way as well while you navigate this!