In between relapses when I really really try to get clean and have access to help, its like urges are being pressurized some parts of my body, mainly my thighs. Generally I tried ignoring them but it gets worse and worse that I can’t, even living with my family that knows I currently deal with my bad coping habits. Oh! And last week before relapsing I was 10 days clean!! Im extremely happy about that because it used to be everyday
Also im months sober from weed 
Congratulations on your time sober from weed, that’s awesome!
There are many people on here who have more experience and better advice that me, especially around self harm–and one thing that was a huge help to me as I was getting sober was reading here. When I’d get an urge, I’d make myself read on here for 10 minutes. I told myself if I still wanted a drink after that I could have one, but I had to spend some time on Talking Sober first. It worked.
When you’re feeling urges, come here and share, we’ve got your back. Have you ever used the Checking in daily to maintain focus #86 thread?