My way from day one to present ❤️

Here I am, once again. Because I failed. Again.
After my last relapse I didn’t really took it all as serious as I should have.
I feel shame, I didn’t want to come online because I feel bad. But I know I have to work this out.
What made me very anxious is social media, in my case Twitter. I was constantly online, it was to much. Instead of giving myself rest and a calm environment I did the opposite. The Pandemic and now the energy crisis over here is very hard to handle if you’re constantly online sucking every information in.
I know what to do. I need to get out and move my body, having long walks near river Rhine makes me feel calm and happy, I need those endorphins.
I even have everything here to give crocheting another try :sweat_smile: Those hands need something to do.
But one step at a time, not too much too early or I’m going to be stressed out again.
For now I’m snuggled up on my couch watching Disney Plus, best decision ever :smiling_face:
And I won’t be able to do anything else for today and tomorrow, my body is still weak from the poisoning.
Alcohol is a beast and I underestimated it.


Sorry to hear but glad to see you’re back


Well I am on Day 1 with you. Been judging myself hard today. But I want sobriety so here I am giving it what I can. I need to start figuring out what I want to do with myself to keep busy and keep my mind focused. All I got for now is… one day at a time.
Prayers for strength for both of us :pray:t3::heart:


Relapse isnt failure. Its part of everyones journey. I relapsed so many times. I gave my addict a name. It changed everything for me. My addict is called Sid. Sometimes he is loud. Sometimes he is quiet. But i have kept him away for 5 months now. I can visualise him. He is everything i dont like about myself. Dont be to hard on yourself. You should try and name your addict.


Shame and self judgement are so toxic. I know, I spent years hating myself and my inability to either ‘drink normally’ or ‘get sober’. Just an ongoing circle of shame, guilt and self loathing.

The beauty of sobriety is we never have to feel that way again. We can and do heal and we can and do learn to be gentle with our own humanness and falterings and process. It all takes time.

So glad you are here, still fighting the good fight. We all deserve a healthy healing life free from the chaos, shame and pain of substance abuse. :heart:


Im on day 1 again too after i relpased yesterday and was caught drinking at work. Im very worried ehat the consequences will bebof this. Ive lost so much why do i keep going back to this toxic poison? Not full of hope that this time is going to be aby better even though ive already lost so much because of this bastard drink. Will try this giving the addict a name idea and try to stay strong. Good luck to everyone


I’m brand new at this so as far as recovery tips, I’m lost. HOWEVER! I will say social media was a MAJOR trigger for me for a long time. I totally relate to that. I realized it was highlighted in fear, anxiety and a desire to be accepted/fear of being rejected. Have more work to do on that but I did limit my social media substantially and it’s help immensely. You’ve got this girl! I don’t know much but it sounds like you recognize your trigger which is AWESOME


Social Media can be a gift or a burden. I just made the decision to delete my Twitter account.
Feels good :relaxed: Going to focus on this community here now.


Welcome back @Sabrina80 yay!!! :sunglasses::metal:t2:

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Girl get off Twitter that place is like hell LMAOO. Pinterest is coo just lots of art inspo and other stuff , or even here is a good place to hang out.


I did delete my account yesterday :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
Yeah it’s quite toxic. It’s all about followers and getting lots of likes for your posts.
And I found out that there are a lot of Bots on Twitter nowadays. Good decision to go.


Sorry but it isnt relapse happens but it dosnt have to . so maybe re word some peoples journey .


Hi Ray i hope i haven’t offended you. I was just trying to help. Relapse is part of an addicts journey is what i meant. Apologises if I came across wrong. I hope you are doing well. Please take care

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Today on day 2 I feel a little better. Now after having breakfast I’m tired again. I thought I’d have more energy today but my body says naah :confused:
Okay, I’ll listen and stay on my couch. Today being lazy is okay :relaxed:
At least I made breakfast and ate something. Saturday I didn’t eat anything and yesterday I only had some snacks, nothing healthy.
I might keep this thread alive while posting my thoughts and feelings here.
Writing and expressing myself helps me to stay focused.


What extra things can you do to stay sober this time? For me wishing and hoping didn’t work. I had to do something. In the early days it was everyday, reading something, studying something, etc. Nothing changes if nothing changes, as they say. :purple_heart:


No, hoping and wishing doesn’t work for me.
I read a lot about my triggers. I want to understand what made me relapse, this is the only way how I can prevent myself from falling again.
I know what I can do to not slip again like cooking, reading, going out for long walks, I have lots of wool here and books about crochet.
Having baths and treating my body with love helps too.
I need to move my focus away from all those horrible things that happen outside and back to me and my needs.


Welcome back friend! Stick around! Reach out often.


Thank you!
Oh yes I stick around, I think I’ll stay online here the next days, write a lot about how I feel and the causes of my relapse and how to avoid relapsing again.


Got my bum up from the couch, made me look pretty and started to clean my apartment.
Feels good to throw the trash out :blush:


You’re here, because home is a place where no matter how long you’ve been gone, or the circumstances of your return, someone is happy to see you.

I am happy to see you. Welcome home. I hope you will stay awhile to rest, recuperate, heal, and resume a life of growth once again.