Welcome to the community Jenni
Admitting you can’t do it alone is a huge first step. We really can’t. All the will power and strength go out the window when we are startled by a trigger (different for each of us). This is why community and support are so important. Grateful that you have found us here.
Make a plan. Make changes to your daily routine and fill any down time so urges don’t have time to settle. Checking in here regularly is great and I also find reading the many threads helps as well.
Resources for our recovery
This thread may also be helpful to you.
Hope to see you around 