I cannot do this anymore and I need someone to help keep me in line since I obviously lack self control….
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Welcome to Talking Sober Jenni! The number one thing I learned in my recovery is that I can’t do it alone. I need connection, I need peers, I need others in my life to make it. To live a life worth living. And initially I found that right here. And still do find it here btw, but I’ve expanded my life and my connections since too.
My point is, this isn’t about self control. It is about building ourselves a life we don’t feel the need to run from by engaging in addictive patterns and behaviours. It’s about realizing we are in this together, and that we can’t do it alone. When used right, this place will give you a whole bunch of acountablillity partners friend. Have a good look around, read, learn, support and be supported! This might be a good place to start:
There’s loads of other good threads here, to keep you accountable daily this one for instance:
Just take your time to check us out. Hope there’s something here to help you lady. And know you’re not alone. Wishing you all success 
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Have you considered trying a 12 step program or any other support face to face coming here and doing this will help you wish you well
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Welcome to the community Jenni
Admitting you can’t do it alone is a huge first step. We really can’t. All the will power and strength go out the window when we are startled by a trigger (different for each of us). This is why community and support are so important. Grateful that you have found us here.
Make a plan. Make changes to your daily routine and fill any down time so urges don’t have time to settle. Checking in here regularly is great and I also find reading the many threads helps as well.
Resources for our recovery
This thread may also be helpful to you.
Hope to see you around 
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agreed ^^^
@Mno @Ray_M_C_Laren have it just about covered imho @jallyson
staying clean and sober has almost nothing to do with self-control, you’re prob self-medicating like i was and like most other people here were
Please stay plugged in here and keep us updated because you are just like us and we want and need you here and i mean that. there is a solution to your problem
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No bc I don’t like the spiritual aspects.
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thats ok keep us posted on your progress
You could always try smart recovery. They have both online and in person meetings depending on your areas as well ( though not as many as AA). They are 100% non-spiritual based and have helped many as well.
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If you look for reasons for these suggestions to not work, you will find them. If you keep an open mind to solution, you will find that.
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Have you checked out Recovery Dharma? I also would not do certain programs for bc of spiritual aspects. RD is based on Buddhist philosophy but more like meditating and letting go of attachment to what no longer serves you. I barely talk in the meetings, but they really do help. I also do zoom as I don’t like to expose myself to potential situations. Hope you stick around.
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Also, you can use this or the open checking in threads to stay accountable. I try to check in both in the beginning and end of my days. It helps maintain focus more than I ever thought it would.
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I love this
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Thank you all for the suggestions, I really appreciate all your help and advice. 24 hours down!