Hello everyone my name is Emma I’ve not been on in awhile soooo it’s been same old same old ill get a few weeks clean and then im right back at it. I just don’t understand and I’m getting so damn frustrated and that just makes me want to do it even more. Why can’t I just stop man. Im doing better financially than I have in 10 years im happier and more at peace in my life than I’ve been in 10 years and still keep going back and don’t understand why? Does anyone have any advice on anything I can do to possibly remedy this affliction I’m so tired of this drug I’d give anything to just be able to put it down and not touch it again and I get to a point where I think im going to make it and something snaps and there I go. Please help I don’t understand what I’m still doing wrong 
I don’t know what your doc is so I hope this isn’t out of line. But it sounds to me like you’re going to have to try the things that our out of your comfort zone….the things you really don’t want to do. That might be meetings, that might be rehab, I’m not sure but clearly you need something more. Getting sober is so much more than just not using.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
Hey Emma, what ur talking about is the disease of addiction. It doesn’t care where we are at in life or what we have managed to accomplished. Addiction centres in our minds and our minds will lie to us ALL the time. It will lie to us and try to convince us that we need it, we can’t live without it, we can’t cope, that we will be boring without it, that it’s scary to live without it. The lies are endless. I hear that u want to change and coming back on here is a great 1st step. Have u ever attended mtgs online or in person? They have helped me tremendously to get clean. Treatment helped me also at various times in my life. Reminding ourselves why we quit is crucial to put those lies in our mind to bed. I struggling with the lies too. The reality is, is that drugs serve no purpose. They do nothing but cause us pain. And it takes everything from us. You can stop and prevent addiction from taking away the things u have ur in life today. Keep posting 
glad ur here!
Hey there,
I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling. It sounds like you are talking about addiction honestly. I am a super determined person who can do almost anything if I put my mind to it. Addiction doesn’t care if we are happy, financially secure or eating healthy…just wanting to stop won’t do the trick. What kind of program are you working?? Meaning, what are the practices you have in place to stay sober? Therapy, in or out patient rehab? Free abstinence based recovery groups (like AA, SMART recovery, women in sobriety, Refuge recovery…just to name a few),meditation and recovery based journaling, a program of your own making that includes any number of these things?
Hey Emma.
Nice to meet you and see you checking in.
If nothing changes
Nothing changes.
It took me a lot of uncomfortable grateful support to stay sober.
Be active on here. Have a good read around.
Here are two good threads to start:
- Resources for our recovery 3
- [Frequently asked questions about sobriety for newcomers ](Frequently asked questions about sobriety for newcomers
Best advice I can give. If you’re going to reach out for help you should actually stick around to receive the advice
Meetings will make it easier and give you a network to fall back on if you having a bad time
Well, it’s been said…and I will say it again.
If being clean and sober is what you seek, then you have to work at finding it.
The easiest, cheapest, extremely informative way to start working on seeking it…
Be active here. Be here when you wake up, be here when you have a quick snack. When you are on the toilet…Be here.
Be Active.
Read everything you can
Participate here
Vent here
Crave here
Celebrate here.
Then the road of recovery will start for you
It is not about just stopping. It’s about changing outlooks, lifestyles fixing the “why we drink/drug”