Yet another business trip. Not expecting peer pressure this time, but many hours unsupervised.
I know that I’m doing well, happy to be alcohol free…yet those sneaky thoughts of a drink come in from time to time.
I’ll stick to what worked before and check in here. I know the temptation is just around the corner, and to be overconfident that I’m past it is just plain out stupid.
Bear with me for the next 72 hours 
You got this. You have systems in place? You have strategies to make the right choices? What do you say when someone offers a drink? Role play it. Make these things the habit. You got this!!!
Thank you - the plan is to have something that I enjoy to drink in my hand at all times when I’m in a place that serves alcohol. Airport, hotel, bars. Either a cup of flavored coffee, tea, or a refreshing soda. Mocktail or diet coke if I need to socialize.
Check in here frequently.
Plan to work out early in the morning. That should put me in bed early and be aware that I don’t want to have a headache.
This is another very stressful business trip, so I need to find time to decompress in a healthy way.
I’m one day away from 7 months AF. Eyes on this prize and the next.
Had tea and water at the airport. Did some work. About to take off.
Have a feeling in the pit of my stomach - very aware of how anxious I am about this trip.
Deep breaths.
Lots of work dumped on my plate while I was flying. Ovewhelmed I will not be able to finish all before Thursday. Deadlines are completely unrealistic.
Having some fruit and tea while working through what I can. Not happy there is a full minibar. I’ll take a walk as soon as I get to a stopping point.
As you know alcohol is not going to do any work for you, nor will it help with any anxiety or stress you might be experiencing. Healthy coping mechanisms like breathing excercises or meditation will. or other ways of diverting your attention. And being here of course 
. We’re in this together.
Thank you so much. I know alcohol would only make all worse. I’m at the verge of tears, this is too much though. I’ll take that walk and clear my head.
Went for a walk, decided to call it for work for the day. Enough is enough. it was really nice to discover a new area of this city I’ve never been to before…I need to keep reminding myself that holing up in a hotel room is depressing and I never regretted fighting the inertia and going outside 
Had a nice meal at a nice restaurant that a young and hip guy in the elevator recommended. Wondered if I was going to feel out of place but went anyway. I surprised myself feeling very much at ease in a trendy, fun place, all by myself!
Food was awesome and since I didn’t pay for any wine, I felt like I could splurge and order what I really wanted to eat 
After all, I’m celebrating 7 months AF a couple of hours early!
Head on my pillow, sober and happy. Ready for tomorrow.
I’ve silently followed your thread and I am so proud of where you are today! Hang in there, you’re doing great through a lot of BS!!!
One idea is to call the front desk and request they send someone up to empty or lock the mini fridge. They should do it no questions asked, but if any are asked just say you are making a simple request, please and thank you. You do not need that elephant in the room so to speak. If not, I really have no doubt you will stay strong and do what you need to keep yourself safe. Glad you’re leaning on here for support.
Congrats on 7 months of lovely sobriety Anna!
Hip hip hooray for your 7 months! Amazing work.
Stay strong and think sober thoughts only . You can do this 
Thank you so much, @Mno @RosaCanDo and @Steph55
Feeling mega anxious today, and going to see one of my best friends (whom I visited a couple of times and talked about in this thread) to avoid dwelling on it. She may have a drink, she hasn’t really asked me about my non-drinking so far, and the fact that I work tomorrow will hopefully make it a non-issue again.
You might tell her what’s happening with you. If you want that and are up for it of course. In my experience it helped me, telling my friends. Even though not all reactions were positive, it was still good to have it out in the open. And talk about it.
Just wanted to say congratulations for remaining strong. I do not know what I would have done in that situation. 
Definitely an inspiration to me. I avoid everything and everyone currently as much as I can 
I know you are right, but I just can’t do it yet.
Feel incredibly ashamed of the fact that I developed an alcohol dependency. Still think that it was in a way self-inflicted.
I saw a post today here in the forum of someone celebrating 5 years of sobriety and helping other people seek help and overcome the stigma. That’s incredibly brave. I’m not sure I’m quite there. Not sure I’ll ever be 
To be honest I’d say for sure it was selfinflicted. Speaking for myself, yes, some shitty things happened in my youth. So choosing drugs and alcohol was in a way logical for me. And even as I was still a kid it was still selfinflicted.
Good thing about that is that it’s up to me to get out of that mess too. I’m the only one who can do it. It’s clear. Nobody else to blame. This is on me and it’s on me to make it better too. And about the 5 year guy: Derek is 5 years clean. Of course you’re not there yet. Neither am I. We’ll see if we ever get there. it’s no use comparing. We’re on our own roads.
I know the shame is there. I don’t feel it about the addiction. I’m ashamed of other things that I shouldn’t be but still am. It’s no use and it’s counterproductive but it’s a hard one. Acceptance is key. It’s what it is. We don’t have to call ourselves addicts, or alcoholics.
I do have substance abuse disorder. I abuse substances. That’s how I call it. When I talk to people about it, I adjust my language to whom I’m speaking to. I don’t really care anymore but in the first couple of years of abstinence I did.
I absolutely believe that using alcohol for me started as a way to cope with difficult things through numbing. Until at some point it became a form of self harm. I truly think that the shame I was feeling led me to continue to damage and hurt myself by drinking to oblivion - I had so much negative self talk going on in my head! Even my husband used to ask me why I was doing this to myself.
Yep. I’m still working in my head what it is that I am. So far I’ve accepted that I developed a dependence on alcohol and that modified my brain forever. The fact that in the end I needed to drink simply to be normal was obviously not normal.
You’re right again that I still have a long way to go. I think before I can explain to someone what I’m going through I need to be able to find the words to explain it to myself. Does it make sense? And the fact of the matter is, I don’t know why this happened. I drank to relax, to be more extroverted, to belong. It shouldn’t have gone so wrong. I’m still trying to understand why it did.
Thank you for sharing this, Rosa…I heard those same words from my husband. I’m thankful for the soul-searching that sobriety forces me to do.
Please don’t judge me for what I’m about to say, I feel quite nervous about touching a sensitive point for someone.
I feel like the reasons why I drank were so banal comparing to real trauma and difficulties so many people face…that it’s not a justification at all. I should never have let things get out of control like they did. Alcohol itself created hell for me. There was nothing that severe that should have justified drinking more and more. Nothing beyond normal hardships of people’s lives. Sometimes worse, sometimes better. But nothing that should have driven me to this point.
Took me quite a bit of reading to understand how alcohol addiction settles into the body for me to extend myself any remote resemblance of forgiveness for what I did to my body and what I was doing to my life and my loved ones’ lives.
I’ll get there, though.