Hi @Andy and welcome back. 
Congrats on making a decision to end it now.
Many of us have left a trail of destruction and tried “a thousand times” first, but to make it stick longer maybe try something different this time? This forum is amazing, but also consider getting all the support you can - an inpatient/outpatient program, AA or other fellowships, reading, videos, meditation, nutrition and diet - there is so much out there! But it has to all come from you.
Here is a useful thread on getting through early recovery:
(Surviving Alcohol Withdrawal/Early Sobriety Techniques)
And recovery-related links that members have posted: