That’s a good place to start. All of us addicts were running from something. We’ve spent months or years - or even decades - escaping and avoiding life. When we decide to become sober we choose to face our pain, memories, angers, fears - and we learn to face them as responsible people. We can do it. We haven’t done it before, but we can learn. And a program helps us to do that.
Your first bit will be all about you. Don’t do this to be the wife or mother someone else needs. You can’t do that right now. Even if you say that’s what you want, you can’t do it for now. You just can’t, you’re not capable right now. You need to do this for you first, learn how to be you, sober you, first. It’s not selfish - it’s just a fact. You can’t support others until you learn to walk yourself.
Rehab helps, counselling helps, programs help; anything that is about meaningful growth helps. Medical or psychological programs that have fees often have zero interest financing (at least in Minnesota many do) and the money you’re saving on booze will cover it when you need to make your payments.
Sobriety is yours if you want it. We’re here & we’re all rooting for you 100%. Check out some of the supports here (many have online options) & find some that speak to you:
Resources for our recovery
Keep checking in Sam. We’re here with you 