New here. Checking in

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I’m just gonna spill my guts. So here goes.

Up until some time in 2018 I was sober. I was sober for 4 years. It was good and I was proud.
I wish I could remember exactly what happened to make that change. I know that I was able to stay sober because I never allowed myself to be in situations where there was danger. And I was 100% up front about it.
The last five months or so have been especially bad. I’ve been drinking pretty much every night. I’m sitting here with a pounding headache right now, hot and cold, bloated, can’t sleep. For what? I don’t feel any better.
I’m certainly not the best version of myself.
I had a surgery a week ago I should be recovering from and instead I’ve spent the last two days drunk.
I want it back. Finally. I finally want it back. I want to care about myself again. I want to be the best version of myself again. For me, for my family, for my dogs.
We can’t go backward, but we certainly can move forward, one little bit at a time, and that’s what I’m going to do today.
I’m scared, but I know I can.

Thanks for listening. :yellow_heart::heart:

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I know you can, too. You’re off to a good start.

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You brought tears to my eyes.

Thank you.

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You can do it Kayla. Reach out, seek help, join a group if you can. If your persist you will win. Every one here who has built a strong sobriety did it after effort and effort and reaching out and speaking and trying again.

Do you have a group you can join in your recovery? There are lots of free options, many different philosophies and practices, all help break that feeling of loneliness that so many of us struggle with. Is there a group in your area?

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You got this!

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Yes! Yes you can! So proud of you for saying no more…and so pleased to have you here. Looking forward to hearing more from you, I hope you start to feel better after your surgery…take care of yourself and be gentle on yourself. Sending strength to you my friend :pray:t2::two_hearts:

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So, you have been here before, you know what needs done. I hear resolve in this post. Resolve is absolutely what is needed, as you know. Pull that dusty toolbox out and get to work. Start by adding new things to the box, you will need them. The foundation you build now will set you up for the rest of your life, so make it a strong, permanent one.

Welcome to the forum.

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Yes you can!

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Yes you can, you got this and you deserve that feeling again :slight_smile:

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That is perfect…
:blush:

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My favorite thread right now for folks starting out is this one - Resources for our recovery

I hope it helps you!

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Hi Matt! Thank you for your supportive words. What kind of group do you mean? Like AA?

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Yea AA will help you on your journey you got 4 years before , maybe get phone numbers and maybe a sponsor wish you well

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Thank you. I found a group on there I have reached out to.

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AA is a good one, and there are others you can explore too. I’ve been to multiple different types of meetings and I get something different from every one. (In my own case at this point in my recovery I am going to lots of meetings because I love the social connection and the honesty and empathy and support.)

@SinceIAwoke mentioned a good thread here to get you started exploring:

Take a look, search a few up online, drop in and introduce yourself! You will be welcomed and I guarantee you’ll be glad you went. Go ahead and visit a few different types of meetings too - you may like exploring different approaches, different perspectives.

Welcome to the sober journey. Looking forward to walking it with you :innocent:

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