My name is Sue. I’ve been here before about a year ago. I failed at being sober miserably.
My fiance is in jail now for DV related issues. I.put him there. I’m sure it’s over and I’ve been binge drinking to blackout almost every other night.
I’m all my kids have (13&6). I’m afraid of losing them if I don’t get this shit under control!!!
My problem is… I can’t do it alone. I’ve tried… I just can’t. I need support. I don’t have friends , my ex made sure he scared them all away. My family lives across the country and frankly I’m embarrassed to tell them.
I just need help… maybe I’m weak that way… but it is what it is.
Welcome back Sue.
Nope. I couldn’t do it alone either. And I don’t have any irl friends either. But being here has given me the support I need.
Stick with us. Great bunch of people around willing to help out.
Advice for new comers and constant relapsers
Going to meetings is good too.
I hope to see you around.
Welcome back Sue! I lost most of my friends when I got sober but I met some pretty amazing new ones at AA meetings. These are true friends that really get it. We get together outside of meetings very often and have a lot of fun.
After what u have been thru it is understandable that u try to escape and find comfort the only way u know, even if it is destructive. I agree meetings give support and community. I guess you drink after the kids are in bed? Instead of drinking get online and join meetings and try to find one that fits you.
On this link you can find meetings at any time. Good luck and post again as much as u need to. Happy to support u! My kids are 8 and 12. I know well that guilt.
We are humans we are social creatures even though some of us like to avoid it,
But by nature none of us can do this alone, 1 standing strong isn’t as strong as 100 strong.
Facing your family is difficult, admitting your faults is difficult. And I think the hardest thing I did was admit my shortcomings and that I was a drug addict and alcoholic, but feel free to reach out here. If your availability or level of comfort makes you uncomfortable heading to a meeting, then try an online one.
Just remember no matter how difficult you are never alone
Hi Sue! You are definitely NOT weak. Doing this alone typically doesn’t work. Lisa mentioned meetings online. I would echo that advice. I also do zoom meetings with The Luckiest Club (TLC) online. I have many sober friends locally through both TLC and AA. I also stay in contact from people all over the world that I’ve connected with on TLC. Community keeps me sober. I am rooting for you. You deserve a beautiful sober life.
Firstly it is not a sign of weakness to need, want or ask for help. It shows strength!!
I can relate to your story. I left my ex (DV related) 4 years ago. I have children also and my ex is dad to my youngest (4.5yrs old). For the first year after I finally left for good, I was completely lost, a shell of who I used to be, I had been so broken down I had no idea who I was anymore.
I drank every night to help 'cope’with what I and the kids had been, and were, going through. We had so much healing to do!! It was hard, so damn hard! I tried to quit drinking for them and it wasn’t enough. I had so many failed attempts at sobriety until I realised I had to quit drinking for me! I had to put my recovery first so that the ones I loved didn’t have to come last anymore. I decided I was doing it for me!
I threw myself into DV counselling, AA meetings (face to face or online), came onto this forum ALOT and also read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace.
It was so hard to break the pattern of drinking but I dug deeper than I ever had before and pushed through those nights minute by minute, hour by hour and slowly the battle became easier to win.
I started to believe on myself again, I treated myself with love and care (and it was really difficult because I hated so much about myself and my ‘weaknesses’). But I kept pushing and trying. I got back into exercise and discovered new interests.
Every night I went to bed grateful for being fully present with my kids and being sober, and every morning I woke pledging that just for today I would not drink. Just for today. No matter what I faced, just for today, I would not pick up that first drink. And I would repeat this every single day.
You have no doubt been through so much. You are a survivor and stronger than you realise! You can get through this. Reach out and keep asking for support and help, for your drinking and what you have been through. It is definitely not a sign of weakness to do so xxx
Hey there, I am approaching 3 days of no liquor. I too drank to black out. Trauma is what got me drinking… anyways I know what’s it is like to feel alone so if you need a friend I believe we can message on here. Feel free to reach out. You are not alone
Don’t worry I am on day 2 and starting again and again after 2 3 days gap . Trying to increase gap. Just focus on your goal you may fail but try again n again
You CAN do this Sue! We ALL need help and support. You are NOT weak or lacking. We all went into this the same as you are feeling weak and alone. But now you are here and you are NOT alone and you have support. You will make new sober friends along the way on your sober journey and it will get WAY better. I promise you this is true.
