Have you gotten a sponsor?? I’m honestly scared to death to go to meeting and meet people. So this far I’ve been doing this completely alone but I know it’s only a matter of time before I relapsed if I do it this way 
(my way) because this is not the first time I’ve tried to stop but this is the longest I’ve ever made it and I feel so blessed for that
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No sponsor yet. But doing AA and aoda treatment every week
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Please if you have time let me know what the meetings are like and how you are doing. I haven’t made any meetings because of my work schedule, but I did but a big book and I’ve started reading that. I was told by a friend to read I think the first 164 pages?? Not sure. but I’m working on that. And I tend to feel calmer and more at ease after I have read it. Even if only a few pages
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Hi Hollz,
I can really relate to your frustration with the fog starting to lift and not knowing who is underneath it.
How many days do you have?
What supports have you tried before?
What are you interested in trying?
How can I help you?
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One week tomorrow and I’m so proud of that seven days, but when I’m not working I’m scared to death I’m going to mess up. No cravings… YET but I know they will come. And I’m not sure what I want to do now. I guess just be happy, stop being so afraid that I’m going to fail. I want to go out and do things and have fun but my so called fun has included alcohol for such a long time that I don’t have friends now, and I don’t really know where I would go if I could… honestly it’s all terrifying to me. I don’t want to die or end up in jail again. I guess I just want some form any form of normal I want peace of mind and soul. I’m sure I probably sound like a idiot and I’m sorry I just haven’t truly ever talked to anyone about my addiction and to get these things off of my chest is 
well it’s almost like a weight is lifting
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Congrats on your week without booze. You absolutely do not sound like an idiot, you sound like someone who wants their freedom back.
It was my experience that sitting tight for the first few months was the safest like I say though my experience. Some people do venture out, some do not. I found that as soon as I was put into social situations it became difficult and I just wanted it to be as easy as possible at the beginning because it was already really hard. If your friends disappeared with the alcohol it probably says something about your friends… just throwing that out there, and lucky for you there are billions of people in the world that could potentially be friends so not a huge worry.
This is what struck me the most in your post, that peace of mind and soul. It is one of the best things about recovery, being shame-free, and not having any more regrets.
You are in the perfect place to talk openly about your addiction we are ALL addicts!!! No judgment here, so let it fly. This is your safe spot and if anyone will understand you it will be us.
I am going to link you to a good thread that has links to a lot of other good threads all over the forum.
Welcome to the forum! 2021 edition 
To answer your question about meetings, I go to lots of them, they are an important part to me staying sober and they are an awesome way to meet sober people. You should try them out.
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@Its_me_Stella thank you so much. I truly appreciate your help and just being here. As for the “friends” well they never really were more like a whole lot of people that enjoyed my money and misery. I’m not actually sure I even know what a friend is considering I’ve been drinking since I was 12 and the only person I ever really got close with took a different path and died of a heroin overdose in 2007 most the people that think they know me say she took any good in me with her… They might be right but I’m ready to find out with a sober mind and open heart for myself if what they all say is true. Thank you for the link I definitely will visit it asap and thank you for just being you. You truly seem amazing 
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Maybe try a meeting yourself see what its like get phone numbers and build a good network of sober friends wish you well maybe get a sponsor guide you through the big book
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Your in a great place to learn! Welcome to TS i wish you well on your journey🤗
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Congratulations on your new sober life!
You mentioned that your were 12 when you started drinking. I was 16 and I continued to drink until 37.
I feel that once drinking got ahold of me I stopped mentally and emotionally growing. So once I put down the drink for sometime I started growing again.
Remember that you spent a long time drinking and it will take your body and mind sometime to heal.
I would suggest just spending the first few months focusing on not drinking. As the fog lifts things will be come clearer and you will slowly see what changes you can make in your life to be happier and healthier. Mind, body, and soul
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I’m slowly getting out and walking, hiking reading… doing things I enjoy but the past two days have been rough with the cravings… they have definitely been trying. lots of exercising and reading the big book. And sometimes I’m just going minute by minute not to drink but I’m still going to sleep sober and I’m so proud of that. I do agree with what a lot of you have said though about getting a sponsor and going to meetings. I just have to find ones that are at night because of my job. And things where I live still aren’t really back to normal from the covid thing so as far as I know there is one night meeting and that’s it but I’m going to continue to do my hardest to carry on and stay sober and happy
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Just out of curiosity how do you guys deal with the holidays what kind of things do you do to enjoy the festivities but stay away from temptation?
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It helped me to have a plan. I visualized and literally practiced outloud saying no to drinks offered. “No thank you, I am sticking with seltzer tonight.” Or whatever you decide to say. I also made sure I never had an empty hand, brought a cooler of my own drinks if I went anywhere, and I drank tonic and lime whenever I started to crave booze. The intensity and tartness calmed those cravings for me when water wasn’t cutting it.
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So this might sound really generic or basic, but I think it might be better than rattling off a list of activities I like.
I try to focus on staying present and keep my attention on the people I am with or the activity im doing. When my mind wanders to other things or thoughts of drinking I try to think of what I am grateful for in that moment and then redirect my focus back to whatever I am doing.
For example today.
I took my son over to my Dads house and played in in the pool for 4 hours. We had watergun fights. Iet him jump off my shoulders,etc.
I felt so much joy watching him just be a kid. Also its awesome watching my son and father interact. They both look forward to pool day on the weekend together.
My wife went out with her friends during this for some much needed alone time. When I found my mind wandering to what she might be doing. I started to think about how lucky I am to have my son, father, and loving wife. Also that pool is super refreshing in 100 degree heat. I am thankful for that!
My dad is still a drinker. When I see him drink it doesn’t trigger me because I remind myself what I was like when I was drinking. Im grateful not to be that miserable person anymore.
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I agree on this one… Have a go to drink for events.
In the beginning for me it was energy drinks. After a few months I switched to flavored seltzer water. Something about that carbonation bite at the end that makes them so refreshing.
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Omg you all are so amazing. I’m so grateful I have all of you. I am not one to say I’ll never do something again… BUT I feel like with the help of all the people here my chances of relapse are so much lower. Thank you all so much for every single minute you take out of your day too help me out, answer a question. It’s honestly amazing to me, I feel like a child looking at the little things in life and them being so beautiful and not taking them for granted no matter how little they are anymore. I love my life and I want to keep living.
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Sober Leg Selfies #2 - #1693 by Hollz I can’t remember the last time I did this without alcohol in my hand. It is refreshing
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