Why don’t you think you deserve that?
I don’t. It’s just how it is.
If you accept it, it’s not that bad.
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I get the rejection thing. I do.
There are people at my school who see me and than make sure to look at anything around them but me. They get that look - that “Why the hell is he looking at me?” face.
That really hurts. I feel like it’s not worth it all the time.
That moment though, when someone actually smiles back, means the world to me. I know I’m not alone. Take this forum as that smile for you. We care about you. Honestly. I was really worried reading your first posts. Are you religious?
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Sounds like a load of BS. You do deserve to be normal and have confidence. Confidence is not the reason you’re endangering yourself.
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Idk. I’m not anymore. I used to kind of be. But then the shit happened and like all my beliefs got thrown out the window. Cause I didn’t do anything to deserve that. And I believe that like you get what you give you know, like karma. We’ll, I used to.
No. Confidence makes me actually think we’ll of myself and then people hurt me and it hurts so much more than if I hadn’t spent all that time on confidence. It’s easier this way. I can’t take pain like that rn. There’s too much already.
I think our definitions of confidence are different. Confidence should make you resistant to other people being able to affect you. You become a force for yourself, not being pushed around by others. You aren’t influenced by what goes on around you, YOU influence what’s going on around you.
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Confidence is faith in yourself. It means not worrying what others think when their opinions don’t matter. Will others still hurt us? Oh yeah. That’s life. There are some awful people out there. Confidence helps you stay the course and stand strong during times like that though, because you’ve worked through what you should stand for and you have faith in what you’re doing, so it doesn’t matter what others say.
I don’t find the karma thing to make sense personally. That would be to imply people deserve abuse and murder. Sometimes though, as crazy as it sounds, we need the bad things in life to prove what we’re made of. It’s easy to do the good when it’s sunshine and rainbows. It’s a lot harder when times get tough.
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Idk how to do that. I don’t think I can. Plus people are everything. I had a friend and he was the only reason I’m alive today and we don’t even talk anymore. It sucks. I just feel crappy. Plus family sucks sand idk. I’m sorry.
What about when good people hurt you? People who said they’d never hurt you ever? I’ve had too much bad. I’m 17 and I’ve been abused/assaulted twice, have depression anxiety and PTSD, have parents who don’t listen to my needs and my friends are the only thing that make me happy and I only really have one now.
Sorry I’m being such a downer. I’m just really sad and this is a thing for me to vent when I’m sad.
Feel free to vent. The thing is that people are fallible. Good people and bad people all mess up. I’m sure you’ve hurt people intentionally/unintentionally yourself. You didn’t necessarily want them to be sad. Not everyone is trying to hurt you. Sometimes it just happens.
@TheTwilightRunner, DJ asked if you were religious. I think you should seek help from a higher power. God will never fail you.
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I know. But intentional or not they subconsciously have something going on that says hey, ur not worth my time get out of my way. I don’t really do good. I believe in like a life force and karma type thing. We’ll I did. Idk. Maybe after I figure out the assualt. Cause it’s caused me so much pain and I can’t believe in those if that happens to good people. So we’ll see. Anyways, I’m gonna sleep. There’s no point in staying up.
Btw, thank you both. Ur really nice and this has helped wveen if it’s hard to follow your advice, lol
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No one should have to go through assault. It’s evil. That’s on the people who commit it. It says something about them. It has nothing to do with you. How we handle the evil others do, even something so terrible, that is on us. You can’t look at everything bad that happens as a punishment. People make their choices, and sometimes we have to suffer through their choices and go through these trials, not because we are bad, but to prove we are good and to inspire others and bring good to others.
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We can talk more tomorrow, okay? You’re a good person and deserve happiness. Honestly. You have so much potential in your life for goodness. I know it’s difficult to harness that ability and power, but you can do it. We’re here for you.
I know it seems that people fail you, but maybe your brain is just interpreting it that way. Do they know that they’re failing you? You cannot blame them for not being able to respond to every need you have. You must learn to be more forgiving of people as well.
Alright, go ahead and rest. We will talk more later!
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I guess. Idk. I know it’s not on me, but that’s why idk if the whole do good and it’ll come back to you thing is real anymore.
I guess. Thank you. Yeah, they do. That’s my issue. I forgive people way too much to the point where it hurts me and let’s them do whatever they want.
Alright girl, here are a few things I’m going to say. Now remember while you are reading this that I’ve been exactly where you are. My abuse wasn’t physical, it was emotional, and it was total. Nearly crushed the life out of me. I really thought it had crushed the life out of me. But I was wrong!
First, go get a job. That’s a huge amount of control you can take in your life. For me, working in the service industry is exactly what I needed and still need. I absolutely love it. I worked in a coffee shop when I was your age and almost all of my customers loved me because I was giving them their much needed morning boost. There were assholes, but I just said fuckem. Can’t make them all happy. The fact that I was making my own money and could decide what I wanted to do with it was the first step in me getting out of where you are right now.
Second, when I say move out I don’t necessarily mean run as far as I did. Just move to a different part of the city. Get space and distance. Take your life into your own hands. Or go live in some dorms or whatever when you go to college. Anything to get out of the current situation. First step in doing this? Get a job. You can’t move out this second, but you can put all this energy towards making your life YOURS instead of spending it all dwelling in despair.
Third, while forgiving people their misdeeds is important in life, forgiving yourself and growing is needed first before you can truly forgive anything or anyone else. The harder you work on yourself the less you will give a shit what other people can or can’t do for you. There is no way to control how people are, what they can give, or how they treat you. No way! You can only control yourself. So take that control and make it the best thing you ever do. That’s all anybody can do.
I don’t mean to sound harsh, but if someone had told me these things when I was your age I would have been a lot better off. That’s not to say that terrible things haven’t happened, they have. But these are some of the first steps to taking control of your own life, and only by doing that can you eventually start to sort the emotional stuff out. Find a place of strength. Be able to say I DID THIS. I live here! I make my own living! I make my own way! ME ME ME! Then you can give everyone else the middle finger or you can CHOOSE to have them in your life. But it will be up to YOU what and who you want in that life. You have so much energy that’s going into such a negative place. Rechannel that energy into making your life YOURS and no one else’s. This is how things happen with the beliefs you have. Send out positivity and get it back. I mean REAL positivity. Make positive choices and positive changes.
I do have a lot of sympathy for what you are going through girl. But there are no kid gloves here. Stay strong and move forward. It’s the only direction life moves. Doesn’t go backwards and it doesn’t stay in today, it goes forward. So make forward work for you my friend.
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Wise words that you should take a lot of heed to, @Kakimime1. Honestly though, you tend to skew the way things should be into some arbitrary way of being hurt. Forgiving people is never a negative thing. You cannot forgive enough. You said that you forgive them so much that they end up hurting you. Not true. Those are 2 separate things there. You’re allowing yourself to be hurt by others.
Forgiveness doesn’t have to be stupidity. You can forgive and still realize that if Joe stole something from you, he’s likely to do it again. Just because you forgive someone, does not mean you have to give them your trust.
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