My parents basically do things that they know will make me feel bad. I tell them that and they do it anyways and then are like I wish I could help. I also specifically tell them what they can do to help and if I say they’re doing anything wrong rn they find it highly offensive and reject all of it. So I either am really careful and maybe get 5% of what I need from them, or I say what I thing and mean and get nothing. It’s great. Anyways I’m all cried out so fro now I’m done. But trust me, there will be more, lol.
Normies dont get us, unfortunately. Be patient with them.that being said, we are all here for your support!
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Thanks. I’m trying, but it’s been 17 years of walking on eggshells so as not to upset them. Until age ten it was to avoid getting hurt. After that it was to avoid their blaming and emotional attacks. I don’t need them to get me. I need them to control themselves and do what I need even if they don’t get it.
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Sorry, I missed. What’s your Add again? Self Harm?
Yep. Self harm. Also have minor beginnings of eating disorders. Trying to kinda stop them now so they don’t get worse tho.
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Glad I remembered! Not known for my memory. What kind of support are you wanting from your family?
Yep. I mostly just want my parents to do what I tell them in therapy or whatever. That’s it. Like I’m not asking much. It’s like don’t ask me to do things over and over cause that makes it worse. Or if I can’t talk to u, wait and come back in like a half hour once I’ve cooled down.nits not that hard.
Im 17. Is fun, lol
Oh darling. I welled up reading this. Parents can be a pain in the arse. Where are you in the world ? Is the self harm all due to your parents behaviour or have you got other stuff going on ? Its a difficult situation you are in living with them especially if they are the cause of your self harm. Have you got any grandparents you are close to who would let you go an stay with them ? Or any older siblings ?
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Aww, thank you. I’m in Boston. I also have depression, anxiety, and kinda PTSD. But a lot of that is like exacerbated my parents too. I have no family. My grandma’s too old. And there are no other family members around here or that I know. I’m the oldest. It’s annoying. I’m just trying to last till I can leave for college. Thank you.
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I can relate. I accepted when I was pretty young that I was never going to get what I needed from my family. When I turned 18 I moved 2500 miles away to Pittsburgh, where I am now. I absolutely had to! I knew I was really close to ending my life, or that I would eventually if I stayed. Best noble I ever made! I know this is a bit extreme, it’s just where I ended up knowing people. I would have gone anywhere! For me staying in California was not an option. Too expensive and I needed a complete change of scenery. Just know that once you get control of your life a lot of options open up for you. Start working and saving money. Make an escape plan. Doing those things will give you a purpose and that will help you more than you know.
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I use to self harm and I was angry a lot of the time… So I get it. But maybe your asking too much from your parents. Are you putting unrealistic expectations on them? Maybe your asking something from them that they just can not provide you with. It cant always be our way or the highway… With that being said.
You need to find support elsewhere it sounds like. Give them a break, they just want to help you when it boils down to it… you’re 17, will be 18 soon enough. And can move out if things are all that bad. But trust me, having your own place and paying Bill’s and working are not all its cracked up to be. Do you plan on attending college? Maybe stay in the dorms or something to get out from under their roof. It’s not the end of the world, I promise. Take it moment by moment. Get on here for support. Maybe even start messaging someone privately ya know and get close with them. So when something does come up, you’ll be more prone to reaching out for help. Hang in there. We are here to help you.
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Yeah. I like Boston tho and I don’t mind my family if I don’t live with them, it’s just when I have to face them every day. And I already have tried to kill myself. More than once. It didn’t work obviously, lol. Yeah. I have to find a job. That’ll be important.
Feeling lonely now. Am a little sad. Also feeling like no one cares and idk.
If the thread has taught me anything, it’s that there are many people that care about you right here. You may not know us, but we are a compassionate lot. Walking through Hell changed the way we see people. It makes us more willing to forgive one another their faults, be able to relate, and want for others to be happy and better for themselves.
You have a lot of people thinking of you, reaching out for you, praying for you.
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I care.
We care.
I have nothing going on for the next hour if you want to chat or need a sounding board
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I wanna cut so bad. My friends annoyed at me and I don’t blame him. I just hate everything. I used to write all the time about how bad I was so I would stay out of everyone’s way more. I might start doing that again. Like I get that low self esteem is bad or whatever. But it’s better than having self esteem, putting yourself where you don’t belong and then getting massively hurt from it. So yeah. Probably gonna do that.
Also please don’t tell me not to do that. I know I shouldn’t. But for rn, I need to protect myself and that’s all I have. I can deal with self worth later.
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I get that. Thank you. But I need people irl. And the one person I have is pissed at me half the time. And I don’t have anyone else. And I think I’m gonna stop talking to him soon cause we have like nothing in common and he’s always mad at me. So I’m dying inside. We’ll see. My life is just falling apart at the seams and it hurts so much and I’m terrified and I feel like crap. And I wanna cut so bad. And I wanna just not eat for a full week. The most I can do in a healthy way rn is one day so I’mma do that tomorrow, but other than that, idk. Idk itf that’ll be enough.
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Self-esteem isn’t what you should strive for. Go for self-confidence. Confidence comes from the Latin words “con” and “fides”. Together: “con fide” - “with faith”. Whereas working on self-esteem can be based off ego boosting, confidence is acting with faith in your abilities. Often with addiction we break that faith we have in ourselves, and we need to work on building that back up, and that can take time, but self-confidence won’t lead us to places we shouldn’t be, because it’s based on reality. Whereas self-esteem’s goal is to make us feel good about ourselves, confidence gives us faith is ourselves helping us to do the hard things and stay true to what is good. As we work on ourselves, our confidence builds, and as our confidence builds, you will find you feel good about yourself. We can’t shortcut our way to it though. We need to take it slow so it’s done right.
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I can’t rn. I can’t afford to be confident. Id rather lack self confidence than be dead. And if I keep getting crushed cause I think I deserve to be a real person and talk to real people, I will end up dead. I can’t affortd that. I don’t want that.