This is a really smart idea. I’ve been overloading my friends. I might vent on this app instead, thank you for inspiring me
Haha. Yeah. We watched them on TV. We had a BBQ and stuff. It was fun.
Thanks! And you’re welcome! It’s really helpful cause people can choose if they’re ready to help others, you know?
How did the SATs go?
Derby sounds fun 
Hope you managed to get a ride home without being too squished up with lots of people!
Idk yet. I find out in a week. I’m super nervous.
I drove, so I was good. We didn’t actually go, it was just a 5k and BBQ that we do every year for the derby.
1 Like
I feel like I’m losing control. Like I’m supposed to be doing all these things. I’m supposed to take care of my mental health. I’m supposed to work out and eat right. I’m supposed to get good grades. I’m supposed to maintain relationships and be nice to people. I’m supposed to figure out what to do this summer. I’m supposed to figure out what to do with my life.
And I can’t do it all. And I’m so overwhelmed. It’s just all so much and I can’t do it all at once. I’m just never good enough. And I hate myself for it. And I hate that I can’t handle all of it. I know I’m supposed to be kind to myself and cut myself slack and take care of myself. But I can’t help but feel completely awful. I just feel so overwhelmed.
1 Like
Ok this is one I can relate to a bit! Life can be overwhelming. But you know what, you don’t need to have it all figured out. Some people do and that’s good for them. But that kind of structure doesn’t work for everyone.
What I am working out is that I just need to try and work on one thing at a time. Sometimes my brain goes nope, everything all at once! Sometimes I feel super on top of everything and it’s awesome. Then I crash and it takes a while to regroup, but I get there. You will too.
A question I am trying to ask myself when I get into the crash/meltdown/life panic is this: What one thing can I do right now to look after myself? Sometimes it is making a cup of tea. Sometimes it is going to bed. Sometimes it is going for a walk. Talking to someone. Getting something crossed off my to do list. Whatever, it’s just one thing and that helps me a bit.
You are absolutely good enough and it’s totally ok not to be able to do everything all the time.
2 Likes
I know. But I did for a hot minute there. And now I don’t. It’s all up in the air.
I get that. But also cause I’m in high school, I only have like 7 hours without school, even less of which I can actually use. Plus there’s like seven appointments a week.
I try to do that, but I always feel guilty for not doing work or anything that I’m being told is important. But yeah. Doing one thing helps. It’s just hard.
Thank you. Like seriously, thanks.
2 Likes
Y’all can ignore this if you want and just say aw that stinks😆
I’ve been getting tired and overwhelmed more easily lately and it stinks. Also cause of my issues with depression etc, I feel like I need to act like I’m perfect and super happy all the time. And I’m not. But when I show my real emotions people freak out and overreact and assume I’m depressed again, not just experiencing normal human emotions. And it’s really tiring to just pretend I’m constantly ok.
Also, today in school, I had to take like 15 minutes out of English cause it had been a long and tiring week. And I was crying, cause that’s how I get emotions out. Then they called my school counselor and she talked to me at the end of the day saying how I should have come to her office instead. And she said I made ms. Connolly (the person whose room I did go to) worried. And it made me feel awful. And right then and there I decided if I freak in school, I’m just going to the bathroom and I can cry in one of the stalls. It’ll be just as good of a cry and I won’t have to feel guilty about making anyone worry and I won’t need to deal with prying questions. So that’s the plan from now on.
Also this really has me wanting to cut. I’m so not going to. I don’t want to destroy this progress. But it makes me think about it and how much easier everything would be. But I can’t. It’s just hard sometimes. Sorry this was so long.
Meh, there’s always more work to do. Looking after yourself is definitely number 1 on the importance scale. The rest will come
Hey, I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that. It sounds like your teacher cares for you and your counselor is offering support and trying to let you know that your teacher cares. Albeit in a bit of an awkwardly worded way 🤦 Can you talk to your teacher after class (or one teacher that you get on well with, who could share it with others) to agree a way of dealing with it when you need to take a break? You really don’t have to fix this on your own, try and let other people help you 
Also, your progress has been amazing. You rock!
I get that. But when I do badly in school cause I was trying to do all this taking care of myself stuff, I get yelled at and told that I need to be doing better in school. So idk which is more important to everyone else.
Yeah. But she told me I was supposed to go to her if I was upset. And I can’t be interrupting her other students every single day. That’s just unreasonable. Plus there’s people there whose offices I need to walk through to get to hers, so… Yeah. No, I’m not talking to her about it. I can deal with it on my own. I did for like 2 years. It did lead to self harm and suicide attempts, but only like a year in and also I have better skills now. So I’ll be fine for 6 weeks. And I have individual therapy, group therapy and psychiatry, so I’m getting help and not doing it on my own, but yeah. I get your point. Idk. I just need to do it myself for a bit. I can’t deal with people right now.
Thank you😊
1 Like
My mom has bad anxiety and won’t admit it. And she transferst that to everyone around her and pushes her anxiety on to them.
I was crouching with my weight on my foot taking a picture of our new Cornhole game and she freaked and claimed I was leaning on it and that would ruin it.
She kept saying she saw it move as if that meant I must be putting my weight on it. But it’s cheap. Wind moves it. My dog brushing it moves it. The beanbags hitting it make it shake. That meant nothing and I tried to tell her I was just crouching on my foot (cause I have back issues and needed to take a break and there was no chair there) and she flipped. She started yelling about how it was new and it made her nervous that I did that and why couldn’t I just move away from it. She yelled at her child over a $60 yard toy and her own anxiety. And rather than thinking, huh, why is my daughter upset or huh, why did that make me so angry, she just complained to my dad and is now sitting there like nothing happened.
My point is this: Why should I have to change everything I do based on her anxiety that she won’t even acknowledge but she doesn’t have to for mine, which is friggin diagnosed?
1 Like
Yea finding the balance is difficult and even more so when you’re not getting the support you need at school or at home. You can only do your best
I know you have some great coping mechanisms and support with therapy etc now but please don’t avoid speaking to her to help her out. Honestly it’s not your job to manage that stuff, in terms of class interruptions or if she is worried. She will get support if she needs it. I’m not saying go to her every day, but please go to her when you need to.
Re your Mum, ha I can relate to this one as well! I get on better with my Mum now I don’t live with her, although I talk to her a lot and see her fairly often so I do get very frustrated. I try and remember that she isn’t very well and I try not to take it personally. If she isn’t prepared to acknowledge her problem then I can’t be responsible for that. I try and be as kind as I can and let go of as much as I can!
Yeah. It’s just really tiring. Thank you😊.
Idk. It’s not that bad. It’s only for a month. Idk. Maybe.
Yeah. I think it’ll be better when I go off to college. Oof yeah. My mom’s having issues with her mom too right now. It’s a whole thing. Yeah. Im not good at not taking things personally. But I’m working on it. Yeah that’s true. I do kind of just need to let go of it.
It’s going eh. Pretty well. My history teachers still a total infuriating idiot. I went to the emergency room today, which oof. I had really bad chest pains so yeah. Was a bit scary cause they’ve never been that bad. So yeah. Not doing great in school, but not awful. Yeah.
1 Like
Also, I hate period cramps! And depression. I’ve been hating on my body a lot recently. And on how needy I am. So yeah. But overall, doing ok. Haven’t self harmed and I’m past a year now!!!
I’ve also been feeling worthless. So yeah. There’s that.
Not doing too great today. Missing my old friend and feeling bad about how I treated him and idk. Ughhh. I’m not doing great today.
1 Like
Ooh I missed your last post. So glad you reached out again!
Big hugs and keep checking in, we’ve got your back. Amazing work getting past the one year mark, you rock! 
For what it’s worth, it’s really great to hear from you again, Kaki.
Sorry you’re struggling, but you can share anytime you need to with us.
And I think you’re doing great.
1 Like