Welcome, Kevin. Admitting that you’re an addict is tough, but it’s a big step in recovery, so I’m proud of you.
In recovery, it’s important to maintain focus. Therefore I highly recommend checking in daily in the following thread:
You will have a lot of free time now since you don’t drink or do drugs anymore. I recommend finding some other activities. These activities don’t only help you keep your focus from drinking, but they also tend to be healthy for you.
Some activities improve mental health like reading, writing, drawing, mindfulness, crossword puzzles and a lot more.
Other activities improve physical health like running, walking, cycling, dancing, yoga, swimming and a lot more.
And of course, there are also activities that are just fun to do.
Mindfulness does not only help to keep your mind of using, but it’s also helpful to improve focus and making the past easier to live with. With mindfulness, you learn to just let thoughts pass without paying too much attention to them. Which prevents you from lying awake at night whilst your thinking of all guilt and shame from some ridiculous things you did while drinking or doing drugs.
This is a strange one, but giving your addiction a name makes you pay attention to it more. I named my addiction Brutus. Since I did that, I don’t only have more focus on my “mission”, but I also know who I’m fighting.
Reading on this forum a lot is also very useful. You will find people with similar experiences and struggles, but you’ll also learn you’re not alone in this. Don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Don’t think I won’t abuse for the rest of my life, because that will be a big burden and it’s scary. If you think I won’t use for today it gets a whole lot easier. tomorrow is not now, I’ll see about tomorrow tomorrow.
Due to the abuse, your mind has turned on you. It will do anything to kill you through addiction. Your mind will tell you that it’s okay to use, but that’s bullshit. If your mind tells you that, tell him to fuck off.
Your addiction will always be there, it won’t ever leave. It will be there in tough times. But also when everything is great. At the moment life is great, many people relapse because then people aren’t as aware of addiction and they think that they can use moderately or just once. That’s BULLSHIT. You can’t ever use once, you will relapse and possibly die.
If you get a lot of cravings, play the tape, look forward in time and predict how you will feel if you relapse. Will you be happy and jolly and singing and dancing or will you hate yourself, feel a lot of guilt, shame and self-disgust and lose everything?
The past often is a hard thing to think about, you’ll feel the shame and guilt, but the past is one of the biggest tools in sobriety. You can’t change the past, but you CAN shape your future. You must accept the past, but not forget it since it has a lot of valuable lessons.
I hope this helps you out.
Good luck on your journey.